Da assualt on a cop

While Chicago is falling back in love with the Bulls and forgetting that their football team is imploding over the off season, let's take a minute to reflect one of the greater moments in Bulls' history.

We are coming up to the one-year anniversary of the day Benny the Bull punched a cop in the face. Let us celebrate with a passage from Wikipedia recounting the moment.

On July 2, 2006 Benny's portrayer Barry Anderson was arrested by an off-duty police officer while performing at the "Taste of Chicago" food festival. Dressed in the Benny the Bull costume, Anderson drove a miniature motorcycle through the festival, although he did not have a permit to do so. When the officer, who was providing security at the event, identified himself as a policeman and called on Anderson to stop, Anderson fled. The officer pursued on foot, and when he caught up with Anderson, Anderson allegedly attempted to punch him in the face, breaking the officer's watch and knocking off his glasses. Anderson has subsequently claimed that the actions were performed in "character", and that he did not intend to cause injury to the officer. He was arrested and charged with battery and driving within the parkway. After Anderson was arrested and charged, his costume was returned to the United Center. The charges were later dropped after Anderson agreed to pay the cost to fix the officer's glasses.

Nobody better give Benny a broom after the sweep it could get ugly a la Jamaal Tinsley in the Detroit brawl. Fuck Detroit, it's never too early.

Killa gets publicists publicizing

I'd love to say that I've been too busy to update this site because of school, but that would be complete bullshit. Basically it's been a steady diet of NBA playoffs coupled with more 40s than Kurt Thomas' locker. Any ways lets get to some random shit.

1) I never realized until ABC pointed it out that this is the first playoff series the Bulls have won since Jordan crossed Bryon Russell with 6.6 left on the clock.

2) The rest of the hip-hop blog world covered the whole Cam'ron on 60 Minutes, which I talked about earlier. However I loved Cam's sincere words via his press release:

I can see how those comments could be viewed as offensive, especially to those who have suffered their own personal tragedies or to those who put their lives on the line to protect our citizens from crime

Yeah, that sounds just like the same man who said:

Stallion of the year, medallions in my ear
Whips on my fists, houses on my wrists
Your budget on my neck, your spouse on my dick
Posters on the wall, posted on my balls
Dick in her mouth, I tell her 'I'm getting money nigga'

3) If anyone knows of a good service that will throw some ads on this site, holla at me dun (c) Ben Stiller in this video.

4) While I was trying to find the video for Diddy's "Bad Boy for life," I found this. If nobody dances like this for me one day my whole life was for naught.

5) I used to watch Dan Majerle does shit all the time after Suns games when I worked at AWA. Now it's finally surfaced to the mainstream. Now people will believe me when I tell them that I saw him do that on the regular or that I once saw him stroke 11 threes in a row from about 35 feet out. In a suit and dress shoes.

You're my hero Thunder.

Killa gets the blogs bloggin

I can't believe I'm actually scooping StartSnitching on this, although to be fair he's been busy with the Virginia Tech ordeal, but here is the greatest video of all time. That is of course only until the other 59 minutes and 30 seconds of this airs.

Killa Cam talking about snitches on 60 Minutes. Thank you God. This will result in the single most incredible 3-and-a-half hour block of television in my life on Sunday night. Camron on 60 Minutes to Planet Earth to Entourage. How can anything in life ever top this?

Black on black Charger, call it Phantom of the Opera

Here's a feature I did on Korion Morris of the UA track and field team. Korion is one of the more focused people I have ever met in my life. The dude bought himself an '06 Charger as a first car. Then he decided to throw d's on it and do everything else to make it even more badass - in case owning a black Charger that he bought with his own money wasn't enough. Also props to Korion for being the first person I interviewed to wear Jordan XIVs for a photoshoot.

Although I did not take the picture myself, it was my idea to try to recreate the picture from SLAM magazine which had Stephon Marbury posing in front of two Bentleys. Unfortunately, I couldn't find that picture any where on the internet, so you'll have to settle for the one below of Steph rocking the Vs with Coney Island in the background.

Also for those people who thought to themselves, "Hmm, that Luke Walton post was OK, but I think it could've been better." Well here's the remix, which might not be all that much better.

For those of you keeping track at home I did work sneakers into both my articles today.

Taking it to the next level

Even Slick Rick the Ruler only went halfway with it

I'm not even sure western civilization is able to comprehend what the R in R&B has brought to the table in his latest music video "I'm a flirt." R. Kelly went beyond the wearing of sunglasses inside a dark nightclub and put ice where no man has put ice before on the glass lenses. Put rhinestones on the lenses themselves? Brilliant (c) Guinness. I really hope that within my lifetime a rapper has one of, if not both eyeballs removed and replaced with some type of precious metal, preferably platinum, but anything diamond encrusted would suffice.
Here's R. Kelly 2.0 in action:

Luke Walton is Arizona basketball

Arizona basketball dodged a bald-headed bullet when former Wildcat and L.A. Gear endorser, Luke Walton denied all rumors that he was dating Britney Spears.

Had Luke really been connected to the world-famous junkie/pop star it would have reached a new low for Arizona basketball. Surpassing Damon Stoudamire's attempt to pass through a Tucson International Airport metal detector with marijuana wrapped in tin foil. Also easily passing Hassan Adams' D.U.I. right before the 2006 Pac-10 Tournament and Daniel Dillon repeating Hassan's inebriated performance right before the '07 NCAA Tourney

"The rumors aren't true," Walton said to the L.A. Times. "I'm sure Britney is a great person, but I don't even know her. I have a girlfriend. I'm very happy with my relationship."

Unfortunately for Luke, Lute Olson's Parkinson's disease 'rumor' is still at least 10 times funnier than Luke trying to fuck Britney.

The track's Rush Hour

Here's another track feature I wrote. It's about two sprinters who work together to stop the Triads and other international terrorist organizations from destroying the world. Actually that's Rush Hour, but there really is no reason why I can't allude to Rush Hour any time I write anything about a black/asian duo.

Should've taken notes from "Tip drill"

A bullshit rap video of the week, remember when this site used to have those. Me neither, since there hasn't been one in over a month. Where's P-Mac doesn't really fuck with any sense of time. But, let's honor the newest "star" outta St. Louis, Huey, whose "Pop, lock and drop it" has pissed me off every time I see it on TV.

• Starting your music-video career off like Britney Spears or Good Charlotte is a genius move, because hey both of their careers are still thriving right?
• Props for having a random Sonic waitress sitting in the classroom
• It's so incredible that the customized cars include a Cardinals team flag on the window. I really want to see more rappers start repping their city with lame team flags on their whips. (sidenote: Phil Jackson once called Lakers fans who had the flags on their cars, "flaggots." I plan on studying Zen soon)
• I really never have seen a rapper perform in an empty pool, if the dude was a real balla, he would have filled it with big-faced hundreds.
• A Jibbs cameo, the bullshit rap community sticks together
• Props for the always ghetto move of repping your single's title on a white-tee

Bullshit rap video scale:
Rims: 2/5
Bitches: 4/5 (Too many dog hoes for my liking)
Grillin the camera: 3/5
Stacks of money: 0.5/5 (You gotta do more than allude to it being in your pocket)
Cadillacs: 4/5 (Stealing a CTS while the driver is in the barber, highly gangsta)
Shots of your projects: 0/5 (Huey you are from the hood, right?)
Guns: 0/5 (Come on Huey, you don't have to be an angry white boy to bring an A-K to high school, show 'em how 'g' you really are bring a Tek to the classroom)
Drugs: 0/5 (Again this is high school,a little hand-to-hand in the hallways never hurt anyone)
Liquor: 0/5
Total score: 13.5/45 (30%)

These bullshit rap video are either regressing or I'm just picking weak ones. None of them have cracked a 50% and this one got a 30%. Huey seriously Rev. Billy Graham could have directed a more gangsta video and he's a real Reverend. I really need to man-up and start directing my own videos. I want to become the the first University of Arizona grad to produce high-profile bullshit rap videos. Are there even internships for that? Someone get at me.

Finally the pièce de résistance of a bullshit rap video post: the chopped and screwed version of the "Pop, drop and lock it"

Hey Champ, tell J.P. I said, "What's up"

Some blogs run gratuitous pictures of Scarlett Johansson, I stay with The Capo.

Ok, so this blog has been pretty inconsistent since Tajuan left the hardwood and returned to his...well where ever sick 5'6'' point guards from the Motor City who have strange abscesses on their ear and win Pac-10 Tourney MVP awards as a freshman go.
I guess I figured that since StartSnitching could take a week off, then I could just let my blog chill. Unfortunately Where's P-Mac won't be charged with the racial madness of StartSnitching, it'll just be filled with Where's P-Mac approved shit.


First order of business, which I'm four days late on, is Chamberlain Oguchi a.k.a. Champ a.k.a. DatNigOguchi leaving the great basketball powerhouse/academy/place where Freddy Jones honed his skills, that is the University of Oregon.

The biggest question regarding this sudden transfer of the would-be senior is: Do I keep this dude on my buddy list? I mean never ever planned on talking to him and he's part of a few select random athletes on my buddy list that are up there simply because I like saying shit like, "Oh hold up, datnig just signed on."

I got to give Champ some love though aside from being from H-Town (pour a little purp out for Screw) the dude killed the 2006 Pac-10 Tourney. He hit 14 3-pointers in 3 games (shout outs to college newspapers). Although I guess Tajuan does that same shit with his eyes closed and his left hand in 5 minutes now.

Also because this is a blog I'd like to cite message board rumors as credible sources. According to the UOPitCrew.com message board: "He and (Coach) Kent had a major falling out earlier in the year."

Another rumor I'd like to perpetuate is that which reader Kevin Hurless sent in, "My roommate talked to a guy on the team, I guess Champ and Maarty hate each other and that factored in to his decision."

If I'm from Houston and some big white dude from Redmond, Oregon getting more burn than me, despite the fact that I'm shooting a stellar 31.9 percent from deep, and completely incapable of handling the ball or creating a shot, than I'm getting my ass off the team too.

Peace Champ, enjoy spending some quality time in your local Y with J.P. Prince.

Cosa segunda: This Jimmy Kimmel post from wwtdd.com is definitely worth five minutes of your time, but I'm guessing if you're reading this you probably have more than five minutes on your hands.

Numero tres: I'm not gonna talk about Pacman because that's on evey other blog, but I will talk about the Gilbert's tragic injury. Again something that happened a week ago, but it really needed to be brought up here, because well Gil IS Arizona Basketball, back when that meant something other than "No officer. I haven't had any drinks tonight. Yes I'm sure."
At least Agent Zero's blog is still funny as fuck.

I told them to cut the leg off a couple times. You know, cut it off and then bring it back to me when it was all healed. Because, you know, Heather Mills on Dancing with the Stars, she had that leg. I was saying I could borrow one of those and finish out the season. But they wasn’t going for that.

Genius.


Numero cuatro: Talib Kweli somehow worked "Nappy-headed hoes like Don Imus" into a free-style. That's relatively cool, but not that great when that's one of the highlights of your show. Kweli, I love your music, but performing just isn't for you.

Purple leather pants

School has been killing the ol' semi-regular posting. Well I guess it's really a combination of school, Lost, South Park and The Office, but it sounds better if I just say school. Anyways...here is an inspirational video of Dennis Rodman wrestling with the Mailman, because 1990s basketball players in the ring is what this site is all about. Also if I ever got my hands on that "Rodzilla" t-shirt, my life would be complete.


Also Sunday marks the return of my lord and savior, Entourage. I really can't wait for that, there really is nothing better in life than Entourage as I noted here.

More cool shit: The bootleg advance of DJ Drama and Lil Wayne's "The Drought 3." Basically every line is quotable, if you're into silly rap music. The following is just an incredible intro to Weezy's rendition of "Throw some d's."
"Weezy service the combination/
an inspiration to you pussy-ass n*ggas/
I just realized y'all can't fuck with me
and you never will/
bitch-ass n*gga/
Weezy F. Baby believe that"

Allow me to elaborate

I really don't think the masses truly understood how good today's "What's in a name?" article was. Let me point out specifically why it could be the best article I ever wrote:

1. It mentioned Beanie Sigel. I really don't need to explain that one any further, but I will just in case there are some ignorant people out there who ain't up on Beans.

• A. In September 2005, a jury acquitted him of charges that he nearly shot to death a man on a crowded city street two years prior.
• B. In August, Sigel left federal prison after serving nearly a year on a federal weapons charge that stemmed from a 2002 traffic stop in the Illadelph.
• C. Sigel also fell behind in child-support payments. He was briefly jailed in November until he paid $27,000 in child support and $2,000 in fines.
• D. On the DJ Green Lantern-produced mixtape "Public Enemy No. 1," Beans spewed the family-friendly gem "The only thing worse than a snitch is a faggot, I hope all you fags get AIDS."
• E. Beans rephrased his kind extension to the homosexual community when he said, "Eat a dick with AIDS on the tip, keep my name off your lips, not guilty" on the "B. Coming."
• F. The Broad Street Bully was the lead actor in two of the greatest movies of all time, State Property and State Property II...which leads me to my next point.
  

2. I worked the movie State Property into the article, this was something I thought I would be unable to do so early in my journalism career. I surprised even myself with that move.

3. It says the word "sex" nine times in the article. If somehow The Arizona Daily Wildcat wound up at the neighboring middle school, little kids might snicker at this.

4. It has the line:

• Sprinter Nikki Martin is called "Nik the Quick," while fellow senior Marquita Taylor has been dubbed "Marquita the leada."

Few will get this, but those who do...Oh they'll chuckle.
(Confession: the dub was actually added to the article by an editor, I wish I was that genius)

5. It also mentions Rick Ross, who in my eyes is a poor man's Freeway (who oddly enough both stole the name of the same drug kingpin), but still it never hurts to name drop a cocaine rapper.

Oh, to be a D1 athlete...

Seriously if Lorenzo Mata is getting this much ass. Come on now...
*That pic was stolen from Lang Whitaker's Final Four Report. I have no clue who he stole the pic from, probably somebody from the Eagle County posse of white hoes.

Randomness:

• If you missed the Wherespmac.com party, you missed out. Point blank period.

• Aaron Brooks won the NCAA 3-point shoot-out in silence. I seriously can't find shit about it on the internet anywhere. However, my friend Andy reports that AB shot his last rack left-handed and he shot the final shot with a silly arc because he was up that much and he is that G. I found this video which cuts off before the final rack. Respect for him rocking the new XX2's.
  
  

• Also it gives me an excuse to run this video of AB stuffing the power in the paint that is Ivan Radenovic'. At least Ivan was able to grab the rebound and connect on the easy lay-in. Oh wait....nevermind.

• Although I missed Brooks' domination of the 3-pt shootout I did catch him going against the winner of the women's competition. Tragically AB lost, but he followed it up with this gem in the post-competition interview.

• "This is a step down for man."

• Props to AB for not saying some canned PR-friendly bullshit and spitting the truth. Beanie Sigel would be proud.
  

• I have barely watched any college basketball just because March Madness one of the more over-hyped things in the world to me and I got real sick of hearing that Ben Howland and Jamie Dixon are BFF on every news outlet for a week straight. I'll take an NBA player in his contract year over any senior fighting for his life in the Tourney. I do really like Ohio State being a LeBron sponsored school, but I still hate Ohio State for no real reason though. Ideally both teams will lose tomorrow.
• Oh, if the Suns do draft Joakim Noah this June I will jump ship real quick. Of course, I said the same thing after the Suns traded Steph. I'll still never forgive the franchise for trading Paul McPherson for Vinny Del Negro, who is the worst announcer of all time.
  Before Vinny announcers were afraid to ask the tough questions he always asked, "Amaré, your free throws are improving is that something you've been working on in practice?" "Shawn your shot is improving, is that something you've been working on in practice?" "Joe your defense is improving, is that something you've been working on in practice?" Fuck you Vinny.