Lines I enjoy

B. Jennings G 34:16 7-16 2-5 1-2 -9 1 9 9 5 0 0 1 5 17

from MIL @ PHI 10.30.09

J. Hill 1:45 0-1 0-0 0-0 +2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

from NYK @ MIA 10.28.09

J. Hill DNP - COACH'S DECISION

from NYK @ CHA 10.30.09

"For a year or so"

from Andre Agassi

So Jennings is the proud new owner of a . . .  Ford Edge. Starting MSRP: $26,900.

from JS Online... Does this mean that one day I will probably buy a Ford Edge to go along with my Under Armor sneakers and Bucks jerseys? Yes it does.

Ain't nothing but a college person

This is too good not to post. Credit to The Baseline for posting this and for my friend Andy for having it in my inbox before I woke up.

Jumpoff!

Partially transcribed below:

---------------------------

On next season in Milwaukee ...

Budden: You better worry about Ramon Sessions, diggin' in your a**, pause. Jennings: He's not going to be here. [inaudible] That money is going to Charlie. Budden: N****, Ramon Sessions is gonna be there. Jennings: I doubt it. Budden: They ain't go no other guards. Jennings: Ridnour. Budden: N****, get that bum-a** n**** outta here. Jennings: He's going to be a backup. Budden: To who? Jennings: To who? Who else n****?

On what happened on draft night ...

Budden: Who was hatin' on you? Jennings: Jay Bilas. Budden: What happened? You ran in the draft late or some dumb s*** like a loser? Jennings: No, I was at the hotel. This is what happened right. My agent is like "Well, we ain't hear nothing .We ain't have no guarantee." So we makin' phone calls and s*** and n***** is saying like "The workouts is great and everything and he's the best point guard but we don't know yet, we just don't know." Budden: They didn't say that about Rick Rubio, number one, and number two they didn't say you the best point guard. They said your jump shot is shaky, you got some potential, but your work ethic is bull****. You averaged 3 points. Jennings: You're a liar. I know you're lying now. Budden: I'm just telling you what they said. Jennings: That ain't nothing but a college person. Budden: Just tell me what happened. You end up running in the draft? I tunred it off after that. Jennings: No, n****, I came out there and made my appearance n**** and I had the best appearance out of all them n******. And I was the best dressed, they said, by the way. I was the best dressed.

On whether he'll start next season ...

Budden: You think you gonna start for real though? Jennings: I don't know, actually, I really don't know. Budden: I heard that n**** Scott Skiles is an a**h***. Jennings: That n**** tough, that n**** tough though. There must be a reason he liked me. There must be a reason.

On Ricky Rubio and the Knicks ...

Budden: Let me know when Minnesota get there. So I can watch Rubio light your f****** a** up. I never seen a n**** hate on Rubio so much. Jennings: [inaudible] Budden: You know what's funny? You're the only guard in the draft talking s*** about Rubio. Jennings: The other n***** are scared. Budden: What are you going to do when Rubio comes to the Knicks? Jennings: Rubio is not coming, they are not giving up Rubio. You got Jordan Hill, you happy with that? Budden: I don't really know enough about Jordan Hill to be happy ... I'm happy with Toney Douglas. Jennings: I know they were booing this n****. Budden: What does that mean? They boo everybody n****. Jennings: If it was Stpehen Curry, them n***** would've went crazy in there. Budden: Shut the f*** up, you don't even know nothing about New York basketball. Jennings: F*** the Knicks, them n***** skipped out on me. Budden: Oh man, you feel to the Knicks like I do about Jay-Z? [Laughs] Yo, the Knicks is your Jay-Z? Jennings: F*** the Knicks, them n***** is always going to be weak. Budden: This is where I f****** hang up on your f****** ass for talking stupid. Jennings: Duhon ain't gonna get it done.

Draft Day/Sad Day 2009

Here is the 2009 WPM NBA Draft review:

• After a ridiculously long middle-of-the-night commute, I arrived at the Garden just before 6 a.m. I was unsure how early I should arrive before the tickets went on sale at 11 a.m., so I figured showing up a good five hours early would be playing it safe. I had been looking forward to attending the draft ever since I thought about moving to NYC, so I was set on doing whatever it took to attend the draft.

• There were already a good 40 people in front of me, including one kid rocking an authentic DKV Joventut Ricky jersey.

• I have never once had a nightmare where I walked naked into a public setting, but showing up to the NBA draft without a jersey was like living that nightmare for five hours. I have never felt so naked and I will never forgive myself for not bringing my D. Miles Cleveland Jersey to NYC. It would have killed.

• It was rather serene to be on the streets at such an early hour. Except there was a homeless guy 10 feet away from the line who was either rehearsing his soliloquy of Billy Madison speaking gibberish or he was just stung the fuck out. He went on for a good 30 minutes incoherently yelling at a light pole. I respected his dedication to his craft.

• There was a white guy rocking an Iguodala Sixers jersey backwards, which I believe means he's a Sixers fan in distress. Where as if you are a black guy wearing a jersey backwards it means you are Nelly in the "Tip Drill" video.

• Other dope jerseys I saw in the line: A Warriors Spree jersey, An NYC Spree jersey (I can't tell you how much I hate Gallinari fake Spree jerseys), a NYC Jamal Crawford jersey, about 500 Patrick Ewing jerseys, a dirty Bobcats warm-up jersey, and a dirtier Spanish national team Ricky jersey.

• There is a banner that hangs inside the Garden's entrance that commemorate The Liberty's (NYC's WNBA team) first home game, in which they defeated the Mercury (Phoenix's WNBA team). That one still hurts.

• I still don't understand what color the Mercury wore in their inaugural season.

• The five-hour wait was saved by a nice camping chair, a good book and a bag of pretzels. I was also entertained by the kids in front of me who spent two hours passing a notepad back and forth writing their own mock draft. It was pretty solid as every pick ended with the phrase "via trade."

• I was also allowed ample time to contemplate the absurdity of the situation. Fans will pay thousands of dollars to watch a guy throw a ball into a metal rim, hit a ball with stick of wood or any other sport you want to break down to the simplest level. But I am calling in sick to work and waiting in line for over five hours to watch kids the age of my younger brother walk across a stage and shake an old Jewish dude's hand.

• Guys from the Knicks PR street team began passing out Knicks towels and postcards encouraging fans to buy season tickets. Since there currently is no real face of the Knicks, the card had a picture from inside the Garden of the Knicks playing the Nets with the scoreboard showing the Knicks down 65-52.

• Eventually after more than five hours of waiting, which involved a fair amount of anxiety that I would not even be able to buy tickets, I got the golden ticket (15 bucks and in 6 rows deep in he highest section of the theater) and I went home to take a victory nap.

• I was awoken once from my slumber by a call from work, which I promptly ignored. Ten minutes later work called again. This time I picked up thinking they would have some trivial question to ask me. I was wrong. They called to tell me I was fired. After ending the call I began to lose my mind quite a bit. How could they do this to me on my special day and less importantly how could they do this to me on Brandon Jennings' special day.

Actually Brandon Jennings was completely removed from my mind as I began pacing back and forth in the hallway trying to calm myself down and not dwell on the shittiness of unemployment of the past and present.

Granted it was a lame office job that I hated and the pay was comically low, but it was still an income none the less. And it was a blatant attempt to try to destroy a day I had been looking forward to for years.

• I carried on with my day and returned to the Garden an hour before the draft. I sold my extra ticket for $30, which paid for my ticket and netted me an extra 15 bones, almost making up for the lost job. I tried to get a lot more for the ticket, but the market just was not there and another scalper eloquently put it, "This draft is dead, n***** don't wanna see this shit."

• Then my friend told me Michael Jackson died. More sadness.

• Finally I got in the WaMu Theater and 30 minutes later Mr. Stern took the mic and the draft began.

• 1 - The only thing worth noting from the No. 1 pick was that I did not know Tricky Ricky was on the Clippers. The same Ricky Davis who once tried to cheat his way to a triple double.

• 2 - There was a guy wearing a black Griz Darko jersey which was trill enough as it is. But he went the extra mile and safety-pinned a paper reading "Thabeet" on the back over Milicic.

• 3 - I'm actually a big James Harden fan even though I refuse to accept the Thunder (who get nastier by the minute) as a real team. His was also killing it with his suit.

• 4 - I'd guess that we are only 30 days away from learning that Tyreke never even took his SATs to get into Memphis.

• 5 - The Wolves had no choice but to pick Rubio here, even if he refuses to play for Minny.

• 6 - I was really hoping the Wolves would pick Brandon just so they could have the two in same backcourt, but they did something just as silly and picked Jonny Flynn.

• 7- When the Warriors stole Stephen Curry off the board I would describe the atmosphere inside the theater as somewhere between 9/11 and Michael Jackson's death. Word to Ochocinco.

• 8 - I think Stern just finished enunciating the J in Jordan Hill's name when Knicks fans began to boo. I booed with them because why the fuck not? When asked what I thought about Hill by a Knicks fan, I told him that Hill was a dumber A'm'ar'e Stoudemire, if that is possible. Side note: I sat in the Suns war room for the 2006 NBA Draft. I still have the official media guide which lists the top 300 players eligible for the 2006 Draft. That media guide does not include Renaldo Balkman, who the Knicks chose with their 20th pick in the '06 Draft. Few can fuck up drafts like the Knicks.

• 9 - Including Demar Derozan, I have seen 6 of the first 13 picks play in person, in case you were curious.

• 10 - Brandon Jennings. Finally the moment I have been waiting my entire life for. And he is not in the fucking building. Can this day get any fucking worse. I waited five hours in line just to say I was there when Brandon was drafted and see some ridiculous Italian suit and the motherfucker does not even show up. I am seriously depressed at this point.

• 11 through 13 - Don't matter. I sit alone in the Theater and want to cry. I plan on waiting for the Suns to fuck up the 14th pick and then bounce.

• 14 - "With the 14th pick in the 2009 NBA Draft the Phoenix Suns select Earl Clark from the University of Louisville, Clark is not in attendance tonight. (Pause) But... The Milwaukee Bucks' pick Brandon Jennings is now here," Stern declares. And like a little kid on Christmas my eyes light up and a big smile returns to my face. Brandon awkwardly comes out from behind the stage and blows kisses to the crowd and then gives a belated handshake to the Commish.

• Then the No. 13 pick Tyler Hansbrough exits through aisle next to the lunatic fans I am sitting with. Most other players receive warm cheers and high fives as they exit, but not Hansbrough. Everyone boos Psycho T as he walks by. The kid next to me, who was no bigger than me (5'9," 145) gets within 8 inches of Hansbrough's face and screams "Faggot!" at Hansbrough (6'9," 250). Many others join in and begin to loudly question his sexuality. Then one kid, appropriately enough wearing a Knicks Starbury jersey, knocks Hansbrough's draft cap off his head. He is quickly apprehended by security and escorted out of the building to chants of "MVP!" and we all offer him high fives in support of his bold act of bravery.

Brandon Jennings quickly follows and I give him a high five. Sure I don't have a job, paying rent is going to be a struggle soon and Brandon Jennings, 3 years my younger, just secured himself a contract for a couple more million on top of the $2 million he earned in Italy; but for that second all seemed right in the world.

• For the record I don't know shit about Earl Clark and I don't really care. Also when Hansbrough was drafted one fan behind me began chanting "Austin Croshere!" unfortunately nobody picked up on it.

• I was excited for the Suns to bomb the upcoming season with hopes of getting John Wall next year... Until Gould reminded me that the Suns gave away their 2010 first-round unprotected pick along with Kurt Thomas for a conditional second round pick. Enjoy that top five pick next year OKC.

• I later bumped into Bruce Pascoe, gotta respect your local Tucson beat writers.

• I bounced around the theater some more and ran into the Jennings clan. I saw a skinny kid in a nice suit with the Bucks draft cap. I yelled Brandon at him twice until I realized it was a his little brother Terrence, who if you don't know is the coolest kid in the universe and you would expect far too cool to remember meeting me multiple times before.

• A group of fans waved an Israeli flag and celebrated when Israel-born Omri Casspi was selected. Later I saw a guy wearing a shirt reading "Palestine Spyders," I would have like to see his reaction to Casspi's selection.

• The remaining fans began chanting "Jeff Van Gundy" until the former Knicks coach and current ESPN announcer acknowledged them, to which they responded with cheers. They repeated the process with Mark Jackson. And they began chanting "Bilas sucks!" God bless draft fans.

• I finally saw one of my journalism heroes Lang Whitaker in the flesh. I shouted "Hey Lang!" at him and he turned around from the media section. I told him I was a long-time Linkstigator and he gave me solid finger point of respect. If you guys understood how long and how much I have read of Lang's work you would understand how amazing that is.

• I was really, really upset that I did not run into the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentlemen. That guy is one of my personal heroes, but on a lesser scale than Lang Whitaker.

• I stayed for the first few picks of the second round just to see the NBA Deputy Commissioner Adam Silver, who was greeted to chants of "We want Russ," in reference to Russ Granik, the former Deputy Commissioner, who announced the second round until 2006. I hope you all can appreciate how insanely hardcore these fans were.

• I left the draft in a decent mood, still a little messed up over losing my job. But if I learned anything on the day, it's that going to the draft is not about having a good time. For New Yorkers its about having your GM pick a brain-dead, raw power-forward in hopes that he will compliment a superstar you probably won't be able to sign in 2010; and leaving the theater furious as a result. And for the rest of us, it's seeing one young kid after another make more money in a night than most of us will ever see in a lifetime.

• Here are some pics I took on the day:

Young Money now a Buck.


Hansbrough before he was de-capped.

This lady was quite bizarre.


Uhhhhhhh.

Now is the time

I have not blogged about Arizona hoops in a long, long while because I considered myself beyond that phase. But now that Arizona has comically worked its way into the Sweet 16 I am bringing myself out of sports-blogging retirement and typing this post. And if you can't find the comedy in UA getting into the tournament solely off name recognition, playing two shit teams and now outlasting ASU (who has beat UA five straight times) in the tourney then you are a fucking idiot. Additionally if USC loses in a couple of hours, then UA will be the last Pac-10 team in the tourney.

Now in honor of the Cats, President Obama and Jordan Hill who has somehow became a lottery pick, I am going to re-run my interview with Jordan Hill from last summer.

**********
At Lute Olson’s Team Camp I caught up with Jordan Hill to talk about the life and times of J. Hill. I figured Jordan has dealt with enough questions regarding the drama of Arizona basketball, so we talked about the easier subjects of politics, Weezy, Jeezy and baseball.

ME: How excited are you about Barack Obama winning the democratic nomination?

JORDAN HILL: Umm. I mean I'm not no politician, so I don't really know nothing about that.

ME: Are you gonna vote?

HILL: Nah, I'm just gonna leave it to the professionals, I don't know what's going on. I ain't looking at no CNN, no kinda news to see what's going on, so I ain't gonna vote. I bet you that most of the people voting out there are just voting for Obama 'cause he's black.

ME: Isn't it your dream to win a championship and go to the White House and present the No. 1 Arizona jersey to a black president?

HILL: (laughs) I mean I wouldn't mind seeing that, but it's my point of view that he's not going to be there for a minute. That's how I feel.

ME: What do you mean by that?

HILL: (says nothing and shrugs)

ME: You think he's gonna get shot?

HILL: Hey, hey. Sorry man, I just don't think he's gonna be there for a while.

ME: I guess you should worry about winning a championship before we worry about who’s in the White House.

HILL: Yeah we gotta win that championship first.

ME: With oil hitting $134 a barrel and the whole living green movement, what's Jordan Hill doing to save the environment?

HILL: I haven't been recycling. I don't recycle. I litter, I'm trying to cut back on that though.

ME: What's up with your car, I haven't seen it, but I hear it's pretty crazy.

HILL: It's getting painted, I get it back next week. It's an '82 Cutlass. I put 22s on it. I'm getting it painted white and blue, two-tone style to match the interior. The bottom is gonna be navy blue and the top is gonna be pearl white. It was just all white before.

ME: So does that classify as a donk. I'm not from the South, what is your definition of a donk?

HILL: It's big rims and the car is sitting up high. My car is lifted, so I guess it's a donk.

ME: Have you listened to The Carter III yet?

HILL: Yep. Lil Wayne, he's a good rapper, but he's not the best. I listen to my boy Jeezy. Jeezy is the best rapper.

ME: So you graduated Thug Motivation 101 and 102?

HILL: You already know. I waiting on his next one to come out, I don't know when, but it's coming.

ME: Aside from not recycling and listening to Young Jeezy, what else have you been doing this summer?

HILL: I'm taking summer school, pre-session and summer I.

ME: Anything else that most people don't know about you?

HILL: I'm really interested in baseball, before basketball I was a baseball player. I'm a Braves fan.

ME: I know you're pretty inked up, do all the tattoos have meaning because I've heard after the first one they get more and more meaningless.

HILL: No they all have value, except this one (points to flaming basketball on his left tricep). I don't know why I got that.

ME: Alright Jordan thanks for your time. Enjoy the rest of your summer.

HILL: Thanks man.

After the interview I asked Jordan for a photo, so I could have a fresh picture to throw at the top of the blog. Jordan asked if I’d be in it. I told him I just needed a picture of him, but he refused to be in the picture without me and was very persistent about me being in the photo. So eventually I rolled with it and there you have it… Again props to Jordan for being so cool and living up to the hype of being the funniest guy on the team.

In Gary Payton bowling alley

Today's post is a quick detour from WPM's scheduled programing. Since wherespmac.com was once all about NBA All-Star weekend, I thought it would be fitting to throw some sort of all-star coverage in, especially since the festivities are in my temporary hometown.

I didn't have the money or connections to go to any legitimate all-star games, so my friend Gould and I decided to go to the NBA Jam Session which was available to the public.

The following is a run down of the evening.

5:00 Hit Subway for cheap, allegedly healthy sustenance. The guy behind the counter appears to hate his life more than Delonte West. He is a complete jerk to everyone in the restaurant, myself included. Then Gould points out that perhaps the sandwich artist is probably jealous that he is not wearing a Darius Miles Cavaliers jersey like myself.

6:00 After our first use of Phoenix's new light rail system Gould and I make it down town and get the wrong line for the Jam Session event. We do see this guy though, so our five minutes were not completely wasted.

6:15 Enter Jam Session and within five minutes we realize it's even gayer than we had suspected. We walk up to the autograph section, even though Gould and I have no desire to obtain any NBA autographs. We come up with a list of actual NBA players we would want autographs from.

1. Stephon Marbury

2. Darius Miles

3. J.R. Smith

4. Chris "Birdman" Andersen

5. Bobby Phills

6. Malik Sealy

7. Bison Dele

6:20 We make it up the 300 escalators to find Suns "players" Jared Dudley and Louis Amundson (I never knew this guy's name I just called him Number 17 all season) signing autographs. There is actually a line of people waiting for their autographs, which I knew nobody would believe so I took a picture.


6:30 We walk downstairs and find 100 booths each with six different sponsors each offering some garbage paraphernalia if you participate in their lame event. Let's see, I could get a T-Mobile shirt if I wait in a long line to shoot a free throw. Or I could get an EA Sports headband if I wait in a long line to play a video game. Neither seemed that appealing.

Each booth also had their own DJ blasting Urban top 40 music while screaming generic hip-hop phrases over the music. "IS THE EAST COAST IN THE HOUSE?!" "OH YEAH I SEE YOU BOY!" "MAKE SOME NOISE!"

6:45 Gould and I find the saving moment of the night. The NBA TV booth, where Gary Payton is scheduled to sign autographs at 7:00. Thank you God. Gary Payton, Chris Webber and Ahmad Rashad all lead the greatest sports show on television. The features little to no actual NBA analysis and instead features GP and C-Webb busting on various NBA players for 15 minutes at a time. English is only spoken for 45 seconds during the 30-minute broadcast and even professional linguists have no idea what language GP and C-Webb speak.

6:50 We get in line after getting in trouble for using the NBA TV demo computers to look at wherespmac.com. Apparently our computer was linked to a huge plasma that showed exactly what we were looking at. Some prick comes over, takes the computer from us and sarcastically says, "Thanks a lot guys." I thank him back because I try to always be kind to my fans.

6:55 We are five minutes away from meeting GP. Just an incredible moment in both our lives.

7:05 We meet GP. He begins signing an NBA TV postcard. We cut him off and tell him we don't need his autograph (he was not on our list). He is happy not to sign another bullshit piece of paper.

"You and C-Webb are always killin' it," Gould says as he shakes his hand.

We ask for a picture (greatness shown above).

"Do you and E-40 still hang out," I ask. E-40 is one of my favorite rappers ever and Gary Payton is name-dropped and shown in the video for one of the greatest songs ever.

"As a matter of fact me and 40 hung out last night," GP casually responds, in what is now the best line in the history of communication.

"Where's Ahmad at?" I ask. If you don't know Ahmad Rashad is an NBA "analyst" who has continually been on television since the mid-90s; despite the fact he contributes nothing to any broadcast other than anecdotes of him hanging out with Michael Jordan.

GP tells me Ahmad is busy now, but will be here in a little bit.

"Oh I thought he was in the back sucking off Michael Jordan," I quipped.

GP looks at me funny for a second and then busts up laughing. And as everyone knows every time Gary Payton laughs 20 angels get their wings.

7:15 We head back upstairs to watch the D-League Dream Factory, where James White was scheduled to be in the D-League dunk contest. Unfortunately the preliminary activities were so pathetic and unbearable that Gould and I had to leave.

8:00 On the way home Gould and I hit Subway for round two of cheap, allegedly healthy sustenance. In the car ride back to his place Gould makes some evasive street maneuvers forcing me to spill my Dr. Pepper all over me and my precious D. Miles jersey, fortunately my seat beat caught the majority of the soda. And that my friends is why you wear seat belts.

Quotes, ASG, UO

All Zona coverage will resume in due time...

Quotes of the week:

Ballard on Shaq trade:
"Did he come here because he's a big Coyotes fan?" Coyotes defenseman Keith Ballard said. "I think we heard that. I follow basketball a little, not too much, but (I like) having him here and Amaré Stoudemire, two big guys.

"I want to go to a Suns game. I tried to go last year to see the Suns and Lakers, and they couldn't get me tickets. We'll give them hockey tickets. We'll give them 100 of them. We're another professional team ... reciprocity." (via azcentral)

Jordan Hill's bold claim before the Stanford game:
"Guarantee," Hill said when given a chance to retract his statement. "We've (beaten) two top-10 teams at home, so we can't let up now, we've got to keep on now.

"I guarantee we're going to get it." (via Schwartz's reporting)

Coach O'Neill's reaction to Hill's guarantee:
"God, almighty.'' (via Daily Star)

(The Cats ended up losing the game)

WPM on ASG Sat Night:

David Stern killed the whole thing before it even started by nixing D12's idea to raise the hoop to 12 feet, this despite Rudy Gay and Gerald Green being down with a 12 or 13-foot hoop. This would have made the contest insane.

Actually the dunk contest was over before it started since, it didn't feature LeBron, Kobe, Vince or J-Rich...or James White.

Instead we were treated to another decent dunk contest in which Magic Johnson and Kenny Smith scream "The dunk contest is back! It's back!" over a mediocre performance. Yeah Dwight Howard's "Superman" "dunk," yes that "dunk" needs to be in quotes, was pretty cool especially in the freeze-frame shot, but it wasn't "Oh my god! Is that humanly possible?!" cool.

My favorite dunk of the night was Gerald Green's "Birthday Cake" dunk, it wasn't that physically difficult, but I just loved the creativity. Green averages 5 points and 12 minutes a game for the second-to-worst team in the league, needless to say on-court productivity isn't really his focus. You gotta to love that he probably spent the last month getting high with Rashad McCants eating a million pastries trying to think of creative dunks until it finally hit them.

Why not put a cupcake on the back iron? Brilliant.

Rashad pulling it out of the pastry box was another well-thought out touch.

Also Rudy Gay, what the fuck happened? You were the sickest dunker throughout the season and then you pull some uninspired bullshit, despite pleading to all the YouTubers to submit dunk ideas.

Also, this is old as fuck, but the ending audio is priceless.

Wouldn't be complete without Oregon:

The Nike designers who decided to make the new Oregon basketball kits with the names stitched on the back in the same color as the jerseys deserve some kind of award. Coldest jerseys I've seen since Oregon football season. You literally couldn't read the names unless the camera was focused just right on the jerseys.

Zona Zoo...lame

Dear Zona Zoo,

Your e-mails are completely worthless. Please stop sending me a million e-mails telling me when I can line up for the game. I will continue to get there 45 minutes before tip-off and continue to be complacent with mediocre seats.

Just because the team (outside of Bayless) let down the entire school against ASU, doesn't mean you have to push Thursday's Cal game extra hard. If Chase Budinger and Jordan Hill aren't going to show up for the game, why the fuck should we.

Please note that during football season it would take a lot more than a free Chipolte burritto for me to support any program Mike Stoops' name is attached to.

Figure out how to get your ticket system working and please leave me alone.

If you want to see how a real student section is run, refer to Oregon's Pit Crew. Please review their brilliant listserv.

Hey Everyone,

So here’s the deal. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, the theme of Thursday’s UW game is “Happy Valentine’s Day Ryan Appleby.” I didn’t want to send a message out too early in the week, as we want this to be a complete shock to him. That’s also why we’ve been telling reporters all week that Thursday will be really bad, because we wanted them to fuel the fire and make Appleby think this year will be like last year. What happened last year is old news, so lets create something that will be remembered for the right reasons. We don't want to be like the Washington students and do the same old, dumb stuff every year.

This is a great opportunity for us, as a group, to show how creative we actually are. Make giant Valentines day cards for him, write poems, dress up in your finest attire; we want this to be something special! It’s the last thing he and his teammates will be expecting, and the more we can throw him off, the better. The best/funniest Valentines card, addressed to Appleby, will win a pair of NIKEiD Oregon Shox courtesy of NIKEiD.com. Sign it “from AB” or "Aaron" if you want, but be creative and keep the content and slogans funny, not malicious. We will collect the best cards and give them to him after the game. Ryan’s girlfriend will also, reportedly, be at the game and we will present her with flowers before the tip-off (if she makes an appearance.)

Ya, I realize UW is a Rival, I hate the school as much as everyone else, but lets get this done and make the reporters who’ve been writing all this garbage about the Pit Crew lately look silly. That means during the game as well, don’t chant “Applebitch” or anything like that, it’s old and frankly, quite dumb. Cheer for the Ducks, and if it's having an effect, cheer for Ryan as well throughout the game.

Washington wrap-up

Here's the delayed wrap-up of Thursday's Wildcats' upset of No. 6 Washington State

What you need to know:
Arizona hit 12-21 (57%) shots from 3-point land to defeat Washington State 76-64, handing the Cougars only their second loss of the season. Bayless had 23, Budinger had 22, pretty much any time that happens the Cats should win. The Cats lead the entire second half and almost the entire game as they held Kyle Weaver to 15 points and Derrick Low to 5 points.

What you don't really need to know:

• It was Zona's first home game since their Jan. 5 loss to Oregon and their first time playing in front of a fully-loaded Zona Zoo -which was depleted by winter break - since the Nov. 28 match-up against Cal State Fullerton.
• Officially it was rally-towel night as the entire McKale waved the towels in the air throughout the game. Unofficially, I declared it Petey Pablo night. Either way it got Jordan Hill excited. "They had those towels waving around, and we're really fired up," Hill said. "We got fired up with them tonight."
• Not worth noting: "Who am I?! Petey Pablo motherfucker!!" If you are going to be a 3-hit wonder, there's no better way to start a song.
• Worth noting: Hill didn't pick up a foul until midway though the second half, opposed to his normal style of picking up two fouls during pre-game lay-ups drills.
• Props to UA for ditching Kanye West's wildly over-played "Stronger" for the intro video and rolling with some lame-ass song I've never heard of. I'm still not sure how, but some how it makes it all less cheesy.
• I love Derrick Low. No homo.
• Kirk Walters checks in at the 12:30 mark of the first half. I take the under on a bet that he plays less than 2 minutes. He comes out at 10:05. Lost by 25 seconds. Dammit.

Saturday's game:
Washington at Arizona

What you need to know:
Arizona shot 70% in the first half and 62% overall to beat Washington State 84-69. Bayless 26, Budinger 25, yeah that'll do it. Each hit 5 threes, Budinger in 10 shots, Bayless in 6! If Bayless didn't have 2 fouls early on, the Cats could've hit 100. Ryan Appleby is a douchebag, yes that is something you need to know. Next week's road games at USC and UCLA should be great games.

What you don't really need to know:

• Even though I had tickets, I chose to watch this game at home solely because I didn't feel like standing up for two hours or moving the mile from my apartment to the McKale Center. I never claimed to be a die-hard Cats fan.
• I almost regretted it as the UNC and Maryland women's hoops game went into double OT causing fans at home to miss most of the first half.
• As I laid on my couch in sweatpants eating frozen pizza, I realized I made the right call.
• Never a close game. If the Cats are able to keep playing at this amazing pace, people will call the Washington State game a turning point.
  

Where's P-Mac Nic Wise Moment of the Game: Honestly, Nic Wise is just too good to have silly moments of the game. No longer do fans clinch when he has the ball, knowing something retarded is just around the corner. Coaches and fans alike are now confident when the rock is in his hands as he's matured into a solid point guard. In other words, he sold the fuck out on the WPMNWOTG.

Sneaker Watch: I think Kamyron Brown was wearing Birthday Lebron Vs against UCLA and Tajuan Porter rocked Seattle-edition Air Jordan XX2s.

Fallin'

Agent Zero is out for the season. Bayless has been hurt. Mike Stoops is still the football head coach. ASU basketball is hot. Life can't get much worse for a UA fan.

A high from an Arrested Development marathon is the only thing keeping me remotely sane right now.

I wasn't expecting UA to win tonight and I had already accepted a loss days before the game started. Then I started watching the game and UA didn't look half-bad. The Cats lead by 12, I was reminded that UA had won 24 of the last 25 games against ASU and ASU's last win against the Cats was Jan. 23, 2002.

There is no way the Cats are going to lose this game. They lead what seemed like the whole fucking game, but to quote the great HOV, "you're tumbling, it's humbling, you're falling, you're mumbling/Under your breath like you knew this day was coming."

A loss to ASU.

Damn, gravity's ill.

I put the loss solely on Chase Budinger's shoulders. He looked good early on doing it all for UA as he hit 9 of UA's first 11 points. Then pulled the greatest disappearing act since Houdini for the rest of the night.

Let me see if I have this right. You're the reigning Pac-10 Freshman of the Year. It's your team. You're gearing up for the NBA next year. Shouldn't you take over the game at some point? Shouldn't you maybe take more than 5 shots in the second half?

Chase's second half stats: 5 points on 1-5 shooting (all from 3), 2 defensive boards. Wow.

I have no formal coaching experience, hell outside of giving the ball to Tracy McGrady every possession in NBA 2k2, I have no coaching experience at all. Still, I think it might have been a good idea for Chase to...hmm...DRIVE THE FUCK INSIDE or find his shot some where. I know ASU plays a solid zone, but UA's second half offense went as follows: four passes around the perimeter then settle for a bad 3 or dump it low to Jordan Hill. Every time.

Chase's overtime performance was equally impressive with his only shot being an off-balance, desperation 3 with 4 seconds on the clock, which clanked off the rim.

Chase second-half performance reminded me of my own play when I'm the worst player on a team at the rec. Stand around the perimeter and as soon as I catch the ball pass it back. But there's a big difference between an out-of-shape blogger and a team leader looking to go to the NBA.

A few quick notes:

• Remember last year when Jawann McClellen would take and hit 3s? What happened to those days?
• Zane Johnson meet the court.
• After Zane's 3 which hit the top of the backboard it might be a good idea to return to the comfort of the bench and shoot the shit with Kirk Walters.
• I can't even get into Bob Elliot tonight, but I hope he catches whatever Dickie V has.
• Solid return by UA after the embarrassing loss to Oregon on Saturday.

Where's P-Mac Nic Wise Moment of the Game: I hope it went something like this post game, "Chase how the fuck does the point guard only take 2 less shots than you? What the fuck were you doing out there?"

Final thoughts: When does softball season start again?

Can't hardly wait

The Brandon Jennings-led Oak Hill Academy played in the McKale Center tonight...jumping straight into it..

• Who ever puts on UA events should be ashamed of themselves. I was more excited for this high school basketball game than any Cats game this whole season, enough so that I got there a whole 30 minutes early (I know it's not much, but I like strolling in right at game time). As I got to the game there were two massive lines outside McKale one a wristband which admitted you into the game and one to get into the game. Why not let those who paid simply walk in to the event? I have no fucking clue. Also a belated 'fuck you' for the mess that was the UA alumni game, which was also a ticketing mess.
  
• Fortunately I got in before the game and was able to score third row center court seats, not too shabby (c) Adam Sandler. Good enough to get this shot with my camera phone.
• Spotted Jawann McClellan wearing a dumbass angry snowman tee. Someone should let Jawann know it's no longer 2004 and he's not Young Jeezy.
• By the way the Cats edged out San Diego State today 74-58 in a game that was much closer than that score.
• Brandon Jennings stood out from the Jordan Brand-sponsored Oak Hill with his black/red XIs. Filthy.
• The game was the first part of the GoAZCats.com Showdown, which featured a bullshit Tucson basketball game after the Oak Hill game, that's basically the equivalent of Jay-Z opening for Grime (a shitty Tucson rapper nobody listens to).
• Jennings hit the first bucket of the game with a deep, deep 3 that barely moved the net.
• Later on in the first quarter Jennings was coming up the court yelling "Iso! Iso!" while his coach was trying to call another play. He's just that cold.
• In the second quarter Jennings stroked a long 3, steals the next possession, then spins to the basket for a tough lay-up. He casually bops upcourt looking up at all players' points. 22 points with 5 minutes left in the second quarter. No big deal.
• Jennings finished the first half with 26, as Oak Hill led James B. Dudley(NC) 55-42.
• He continued to put on a show in the second half netting 3s with ease all the while looking like he was barely trying. He never went for a defensive rebound, played a 'casual' defense and usually never went inside the perimeter on offense, he just stood around the 3-point line calling for the ball, then getting it and effortlessly wetting 3s.
• It should be noted that Brandon Jennings' favorite class at Oak Hill is lunch.
• Oak Hill's starting center Keith "Tiny" Gallon is a 6'9'' 300 lb beast who had a defender on the floor for five minutes after he tried to take a charge. The man is massive to say the least.
  
• After it was all said in done, Jennings had 49!! after playing all 32 minutes of the game. Oak Hill won 102-91.
• He won the bullshit MVP award, which as one of my friends noted, "He would've got if he scored 15 points."
• After the game the local media swarmed the high school senior. Crazy fucking attention for an 18-year-old.
• 

Random Shit:
How did Chuck Hayes get to the NBA doing this?
Where are they now? J.P. Prince putting up numbers for Tennessee.
God damn sailing captains always showing their tits.

Cats at Illini

Arizona at Illinois...well pretty much at Illinois
Mini-recap:

UA came out like shit...Woke up...Actually Chase snoozed through the whole game...Nic Wise continued to be a beast...After I bashed him last week, Jordan Hill played a hell of a game...Cats win in OT 78-72.

Notes:

• What the fuck is up with Jawann McClellen shaving a "5" in the back of his head. First, it looks completely retarded, second do you need same numeral 18 inches from the 5 on the back of your jersey? Don't get me wrong I love some good art on the back of heads, word to Anthony Mason and Ron Artest, but hair art is something where you either go all out or keep the blade down, no in between. Jamelle Horne I see you too.
• Not related to UA hoops in any way, but I need to throw out this excerpt from the LA Times article:
• Ellerbe pointed to Mayweather's crossover potential by relaying a story about Halloween at the boxer's home. After his childhood of scaled-back Halloweens, Mayweather made three trips to the grocery store to stock up on candy bars for kids in his gated Las Vegas neighborhood. He gave away so many that the children who'd seen him on "Cribs" basked in his generosity by urging him to "make it rain" Snickers, a nod to his public cash displays.
• How the hell does Chase Budinger go the entire regulation without a field goal? Find your fucking shot. I still can't figure out, how a team leader can go a game without a field goal.

Where's P-Mac Nic Wise Moment of the Game: The moment of the game goes to ESPN's announcing crew for sucking Nic's dick throughout the game. "He's the spark plug of the entire team!" "He has such incredible quickness." "His defense is like a cobra strike!" "Another beautiful dime dropped by Nic." Plus many more I forgot, in addition to the lame "He's so wise" puns.

Sneaker Watch: Bayless going from the Lebron Vs in the first half to the Air Jordan Concord XIs in the second half, way to pay homage to the building that Mike built.

Why you all aggie?

Truthfully I wasn't even going to post anything about tonight's UA/Texas A&M game. Posting game recaps isn't really my steez any more, even if it was the part of the foundation this blog was built upon.

Then fourth quarter I thought to myself "Y'all don't know my expenses, I gotta buy a bigger place and more baggies, why you all aggie?" from Jay-Z's "Heart of the city." And that's pretty much the only reason I'm recapping this game, because there is a dope Jay-Z line that goes with it.

If I ever was a sports editor, I'd make all my writers lead with lines from Jay-Z and if they ever submitted anything from "Kingdom Come" or any of the "Best of Both Worlds," I'd fire them. Overcoming a 20-point lead to win by 11. Not nearly as important as something Jay-Z said six years ago.

On to the game...

• Kirk Walter started. That's about all you can say about Kirk tonight he started. His box score has more O's than Hov's kitchen in '88, except for the 4 fouls and 2 turnovers he picked up in 8 minutes of action.
• Chase Budinger was on again, but for some reason coach O'Neill loves keeping him on the bench for crucial stretches of the game.
• Nic Wise actually played a solid game, for the first time since...well ever.
• Bayless is really sick, putting up a season high 26 (off 12 shots, he went 10-10 from the line), but I still don't see how he'll be a one-and-done player. He's not NBA sick, yet at least.
• The fans started to go crazy as UA turned the game around at the 12 min mark in the second half. A huge part of me was scared the Zona Zoo would embarrass UA and rush the court for a No. 9 upset. Thank God they didn't
• Jordan Hill sucks. A lot. People love him because he dunks, has braids and is always at every party in Tucson. But at the end of the day he can barely play D and has a basketball IQ that's less than his age. Give me Bret Brielmaier any day of the week.
• Cats comeback and win 78-67, giving the Aggies their first loss of the season.

Where's P-Mac Nic Wise Moment of the Game: Nic played well, what else can I say? Plus the comparison below should be enough comedy for tonight.

Sneaker Watch: Jerryd Bayless and Jawann McClellan wearing the white/navy blue Lebron Vs...Everybody else step your game up.

In Virginia, we smirked at that Simpson trial

The first official game notes of the season are going to be short and sweet, mainly because I wasn't at the game, but I caught enough of it to throw these notes down.

• Despite interim/permanent Coach O'Neill's request to deny Virginia any 3s. UVA hit them at will, often with nobody on them, giving them an early lead in the first half. Fast forward to the final minute of the game.
• 45 seconds: Sean Singletary busts Jordan Hills ankles with a crossover, Singletary then pulls up, and they're ain't shit for UA to do but look. Re-up, re-locate, re-off them brooks. 73-69, UVA. Next play Jerryd Bayless gets gully for a freshman and hits a deep 3 in the biggest game in his young career to put UA within 1, 73-72 with 28 seconds on the clock.
• Coach O'Neill's alleged cut-throat defense finally works and UA forces a 5-second violation as UVA tries to inbound the ball.
• What happened to that boy? Bayless gets ungully as freshman and makes a stupid mistake as he tries to catch the deep inbound pass, as he tries to prevent a back-court violation he passes the ball directly to UVA's Adrian Joeseph, who is quickly intentionally fouled.
• Joseph calmly sinks 2 at the line to put UVA up 75-72.
• Zona had a chance but ended up fucking it up horribly with 28 seconds to run a play.
• Virginia wins 75-72. Somewhere Pusha T and Malice are happy.

Where's P-Mac Nic Wise Moment of the Game: With 6:13 left in the second quarter and UA down by 3, Nic pulls a jumper from the top of the key, completely out of any rhythm of the offense. The result? Straight air homey. I guess you could chalk it up to nervous jitters, which makes a lot of sense in the second game of the regular season in your sophomore year.

Sneaker Watch: Coming soon.

That's a lot of Starburys

My most sincere apologies for the 14-day Where's P-Mac drought, not sponsored by The Empire. I was on strike with the writers guild until I realized that I never was getting paid in the first place and I'm not part of any guilds.

I was actually in New York City promoting Where's P-Mac East, and by promoting I mean scribbling Wherespmac.com on the walls of NYU's dorm halls. While I was there I did get to witness what may be Stephon Marbury's last game as a Knick.

I went to the World's Most Famous Arena Sunday night to watch the Knicks play the Heat, who are still waiting for D-Wade to get up for the eighth time. I was pumped to see Stephon Marbury, one of my favorite players ever, in action. Unfortunately Jason Williams owned Steph the whole night, getting steals, hitting game winners and forcing Steph to take a horrible shot as the clock expired. Miami ended up winning their first game of the season 75-72.

Since then Steph has vanished into thin air. Not playing in the Tuesday's loss to the Suns and now threatening to snitch on Freaky Zekey.

"Isiah has to start me," Marbury fumed, according to the source. "I've got so much (stuff) on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can (get) me. But I'll (get) him first. You have no idea what I know."

Since two of the leagues craziest people are involved, nobody knows what's going to happen, but Steph has already been fined $180,000 or 12,016 pairs of Starburys.

On to the college game. UA has got off to a stellar start edging out a garbage Northern Arizona by 7 points in their opening game. I missed the game, but according to every report, it was an underwhelming effort by Zona.

Bad news: The Lumberjacks shot 50 percent from the field in the second half and stayed in the game despite shooting 19 fewer free throws. The Cats were only up 3 with 52 seconds left. Jordan Hill fouled out and the other big men got handled by Big-Sky-caliber big men. Jerryd Bayless is not Gilbert Arenas.

Good news: The season is still pretty young and the Cats got the win.

Better news: Brandon Jennings officially signed on. The same Brandon Jennings who appears on the latest SLAM presents PUNKS cover.

Greg Hansen has been brutally honest on UA sports all year and he's not stopping for hoops.

Early contender for Where's P-Mac Nic Wise Moment of the Season: In a feature in Sunday's Daily Star hoops season preview Nic Wise (now a sophomore) listed English 101 as his toughest class this semester. Seriously Nic? English 101 is your toughest class in your sophomore year? The C.A.T.S. program must work miracles with these kids' schedules. Honorable mention goes to senior Jawann McClellen for listing Celtic Spiritualism as his toughest class.

Other items of importance:

A new DJ Khaled video for the "I'm so hood remix" with Busta Rhymes wearing 100 chains.

I don't even watch the shit any more but great quote from Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, "It would just be a colossal dick move if they did that," regarding making shows without his writing or voice.

Great example of drugs ruining a rap career.

Great example of drugs ruining a rapper, then the said rapper realizes he's now mentally retarded, rolls with it and makes it work.

Umm...Ok.

Finally I can't make Saturday's UA game versus Virginia. If anybody out there wants to write some notes on the game for the site get at me (jadler1@email.arizona.edu). You won't make a dime, but your e-street cred will go through the roof.

Where's P-Mac's

Since the college basketball preseason starts a week from today. Here is the WPM heavily-biased Pac-10 Preview. The teams are ranked in order, followed by their overall records and Pac-10 records from last season .

1. UCLA 30-6 (15-3)
Let's be honest, nobody is fucking with UCLA this year. The team is returning four starters from a team that made it to the final four, where they lost to eventual champion Florida. The returning class is highlighted by the Pac-10's best point guard, Darren Collison, who led the Pac-10 in steals and in three-point field goal percentage last year.

The scary part is that the Bruins are gaining two of the best freshman in the nation. Kevin Love won pretty much every top award in the nation, while averaging 33.9 points, 17.0 rebounds, 4.2 blocks and 4.0 assists per game last year at Lake Oswego (Oregon) HS. He was considered by many to be the top of his class, but I will always hate him for not staying local and going to Oregon.

Love is accompanied by fellow-freshman Chace Stanback, a two-time Division I state championship winner from Fairfax (Los Angeles) HS, led the Lions to a 28-5 mark last year. He averaged 25.8 points and 11.9 rebounds per game in his senior season.
On paper, I really don't see how anybody can beat UCLA.

2. Oregon 29-8 (11-7)
It may be wildly WPMish to put Oregon this high, it may not be. It all depends on how well the Ducks do in compensating for Aaron Brooks departure to the NBA. The Ducks, who made it to the Sweet 16 before being bounced by Florida return four starters, four of their top five scorers, four players who shot better than 40 percent from three-point range and four who averaged double figures. That's not a bad start. The big question is can Tajuan Porter play the point? The 5'6" Porter will have to prove he can hit an open man and run the offense as easily as he can hit an off-balance three from 35 feet.

Will Malik Hairston finally reach the hype he had coming out of high school? Will Tajuan Porter continue improving at a retarded rate? Can the rest of the squad please play like they did in the Pac-10 Tourney and blow teams out while shooting above 50 percent? God I hope so.

It's completely irrelevant to the basketball preview, but the fact that Oregon quarterback Dennis Dixon is only enrolled in a Billiards class at UO is simply amazing. Why fuck with school, when you can lead a top-five football team?

3. USC 25-12 (11-7)
O.J. Mayo. O.J. Mayo. O.J. Mayo. Hype. Hype. Hype.

At the end of the day it really depends on if O.J. Mayo is the everything the media and himself makes him out to be.

SC lost Nick Young, Gabe Pruitt and Lodrick Stewart — who combined to average 44 points last season — but I guess O.J. can just try and average 44 points himself.

Apparently there are more Dunleavys in the world as the Trojans have freshman walk-on James Dunleavy, a 6-8 guard and the son of Los Angeles Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy on the roster.

4. Arizona 20-11 (11-7)
First things first, I read in the paper this morning that freshman pg Jerryd Bayless will be wearing #0 this season, since his high school #32 is retired for Sean Elliott. Jerryd if you don't lead Arizona to a national championship game while being the biggest bad-ass/goofball UA has ever seen, I will forever hate you for tarnishing Gilbert Arenas' legendary jersey. Jerryd, how about you wear #00 and honor Polkey, just stay the fuck off of #0. This is worse than when whoever it was decided to rock #3 at Georgetown.

Back to the preview, after their second-consecutive shitty (by UA standards) season and getting bounced for the second-straight time in the opening weekend of the Tourney, the Cats theme this season is take it game-by-game. They no longer break huddles with "Atlanta" (the site of last year's championship game), now they break huddles with "Eh, how about we just try and win this one."

I'm most excited to see if Kevin O'Neil can get Chase Budinger to play defense. If that does happen, Chase at the very least, should give O'Neil his first three NBA paychecks. Kevin O'Neil sounds like a fucking madman according to this Daily Star article. Anybody who Jordan Hill describes as a "nut case" is pretty gully in my eyes.

Bayless will be forced to try to redeem the good name of Point Guard U, which Mustafa Shakur treated as a 4-year technical institute for underachieving. It changes according to every new article but it's believed that Bayless will run the 1, while the official player of Where's P-Mac, Nic Wise plays the 2.

Key losses for the Cats: Hmm, I can't think of any.

Key gains: The aforementioned Bayless; bigman Alex Jacobsen, who may or may not red shirt; potential-sleeper and great defender pg Laval Lucas-Perry; bench warmer Zane Johnson.

The Wildcats have lost more weight than Jay in '88 this off-season. Nic Wise went from 195 to 175 and hopes to see a quickness he probably hasn't seen since middle school. Jawann McClellen dropped 10 pounds, down to 204, which will hopefully help his 80-year-old knees.

Interesting off-season note: Mohamed Tangara played three games in the African championships over the summer, then returned to campus because Mali wasn't going to be a factor in the championship, anyway (USA Today).

In a fight for token-goofy white guy, who will never see a minute of PT, newcomer Lucas Spencer knocked out former title holder David Bagga. Spencer won the bout by playing the "I went to a Catholic high school in Yuma, Arizona" card as well as the "I'm 6'5" 187 lbs" card. Lucas, best of luck in the classroom and make sure to keep the team G.P.A. high.

5. Washington State 26-8 (13-5)
Expected to be as shitty as Pullman, the Cougars came out of no where and surprised a lot of people last year, finishing in the top of the Pac-10. Like almost every other team in the Pac-10, they're returning four starters, including seniors Derrick Low and Kyle Weaver. I really don't know a whole lot else about WSU, except that their coach's name is Tony Bennett, but not this Tony Bennett. Also they wear Russell Athletic jerseys, which hurts them dramatically in WPM power rankings.

6. Stanford 18-13 (10-8)
Twin big-men Brook and Robin Lopez are beasts. Unfortunately Brook, who was already academically ineligible for at least the first nine games, is now suspended indefinitely for the ever-ambiguous "breaking team rules." The team will also be hosting in-season try-outs for the point guard slot as Anthony Goods will be moved to the shooting guard. If Stanford can get their shit together, they could be a dangerous team, most likely they wont and they'll get a few upsets, while lingering in Pac-10 mediocrity.

7. California 16-17 (6-12)
What do I know about Cal? Well they've got a couple of big guys, they're a Jordan Brand sponsored team and their head coach frequently played tennis at my former job. They really have no big names. They have no proven point guard. According to other previews, everyone on their team is either hurt or coming back from an injury and this is before the season has even started. This squad is probably going to suck. I'm only ranking them this high because I hate the other teams in the conference.

8. Washington 19-13 (8-10)
Again four starters back. Hardcore-conservative blogger/center Spencer Hawes (R) is gone to the NBA. Among the starters is Pac-10 leading douchebag Ryan Appleby, so I really don't even have to say much more. I hate this team. I wish them the worst.

9. Oregon State 11-21 (3-15)
Don't really care about them. They sucked last year. They will suck this year. Let's just move on to ASU.

10. Arizona State 8-22 (2-16)
I may be the most disloyal Wildcats fan on campus, but I still hate ASU. How much do I hate ASU? I hate Pat Tillman solely because he went to ASU, so I'd say I hate ASU a lot.

They are somewhat of a team on the come-up despite losing their first 14 Pac-10 games, although nine of the games were decided by six points of less. They return five of their top six scorers and they only have two players with more than a year of experience.

Honestly as a UA sports fan, we all need ASU to lose every basketball game, so we have something to say to retarded ASU fans who spew ASU football praise with Dennis Erickson's cum still in their mouth.