Some old and some new

I'd like to credit my latest hiatus from the blog world to my lifelong hunt to find the right G-Shock watch, Jesus piece and a McDonalds fries v-neck sweater, too bad Kanye beat me to it.

Here's some fairly old shit I slacked on putting up:

Starbury showing his appreciation for the "sport" of dog fighting. Then having his publicist freak out and make him redact it with this.

Also props to DMX for staying trouble free out in Carefree. DMX's reality show on BET, "Sould of a Man" still remains to be one of my favorite shows of all time. All two episodes of it.

Something that everyone should hear is ex-Daily Wildcat sports editor Roman Veytsman blast off about his hate for Barry Bonds on NPR (click the red listen button).

A really entertaining Newsweek article about Facebook.

It's no F-Minus or Brevity, but this is a pretty neat comic. (props to Dustin on the link)

Most importantly is Gilbert Arenas' latest blog entry (which should be read in its entirety) talks a lot of shit about Richard Jefferson:

But I was telling him, “You have to do that because seven out of 10 people don’t know you enough to even remember what jersey number you wore in college. Ten out of 10 people know what I wore, seven out of 10 don’t know what he wore. So by him having that gym, that gives him some clout. He’s still going to be behind me with the fans, but now he has his own gym with his own name on it to go work out. That’s cute.

See, I’ve been donating since I got into the league, so I’ve donated more than the $3.5 he did for his selfish gym. It’s a selfish gym. It’s a gym that is celebrating Richard Jefferson. I’m donating to people. I’m helping people. He’s trying to be one of the elite Arizona players ever, which he’s not right now. Unfortunately, I had to be the one to say that he’s like the third favorite. But I think his stock is dropping. He’s like fourth now. I don’t know what happened to cause it, but he’s fourth now. The R-Jeff market is in a recession.

Gilbert's ideas for the Adidas Gil 20s are fucking genius:

So this is for all the shoeheads, I’m trying out a new something new. It’s never been done before. Every shoe is totally different. I’m hoping David Stern lets me wear all the different versions without giving me a fine. We’ll see. So there will be 20 different shoes in 20 different cities with 20 different release dates and I should have the schedule for you guys the next time I blog so you’ll know what color comes out in what city. I can give you a couple ideas of what the shoes are called though:

* Black President
* Agent Zero
* Hibachi (That Benihana's collabbed with me.)
* Coke Zero (That you can only get through Coke Rewards.)
* Don’t Watch Me, Watch TV
* NBA LIVE ’08 (The only way you can win this is from 2,000 golden tickets inserted into copies of the game. They’re doing the whole Willy Wonka thing.)
* Halo 3 (That Microsoft worked on.)

The Where's P-Mac Saturday morning cartoon of the week: Dragon. I fell in love with claymation dragons a few weeks ago when Flight of the Conchords hit me with "Albi: The Racist Dragon." Since then I get my fix from NBC's Dragon, which is a stop-motion claymation blue dragon who lives a pretty dope life in my opinion. In episode he gets "messed up" or "scrilled out" as my friends would say and he drinks toast, puts butter on tea, then goes to the market and fills up two shopping carts with food. We've all been there at one time or another, now there is just a blue dragon we can all relate to. He's also got a sick ostrich friend who always cracks me up.

What could've been

Everybody out there listen here. I played them 'Jesus Walks' and they didn't sign me. -Kanye West

Sorry for taking the 12-day break from the blog, but Where's P-Mac took a big hit and I didn't know what to do, so I just froze (and moved and started school, but mainly froze).

Early in the summer I decided I wanted to create a comic strip. I had studied several comics for years, became obsessed with F-Minus, and figured that if I made a comic named 'Where's P-Mac' maybe this site could draw a few more hits. Somehow all this would bring me closer to my ultimate goal of interviewing Paul McPherson. Plus the comics that ran in the back of the Arizona Daily Wildcat were pretty much garbage, so I figured I'd have a pretty good shot at getting my comics published.

Most importantly I just wanted students around campus to read my comic and think "Wow! If this kid can create a brilliant comic at the age of 20, maybe I can do something with my life." You know change lives and shit, make the world a better place.

After coming up with a grip of genius ideas and applying for the Daily Wildcat I finally put pen to pad and produced a few comics.

Short story shorter: I got rejected because my animation wasn't good enough.

Here was one of my samples (click image to see at full size)

I know it's no Norman Rockwell, but the art isn't that bad and in my humble opinion the art is not much worse than what's currently in the Daily Wildcat, plus the ideas totally shit on everything else.

Here are some comics currently run in place of 'Where's P-mac The Comic'Are you fucking serious?

This one is about a Mexican mermaid, which could be funny, but it just sucks and it has too much writing.

This one has half of the Art of War in it, if I wanted to read a long boring editorial, I would have read the opinions section.

Actually fuck it. I am over that phase, my dreams of living the life of Caroline in the City will be put on hold indefinitely. In the mean time, I'll focus on school and maybe LSATs, you know shit that could actually get me somewhere in life.

I'll post the rest of my comic samples sporadically, like every 12 days or so.

Blue Chips and Clones

Let's take it back to '95! I really don't have a clue why Miami signed Penny, but if Nike puts out just one Lil' Penny commercial, it will all be worth it. The 62-year-old Hardaway probably won't do shit on the court, but it would be cool to see Lil' Penny kill that silly Lil' Bron in a media war.

"What are the Heat gonna do next, sign Nick Nolte as an assistant coach?" my friend Alex asked.

We can only hope.

Alex, a hardcore Arsenal Gunners fan, also pointed out this separated-at-birth.

Incoming UA freshman point guard Jerryd Bayless and Arsenal striker Theo Walcott:


Hopefully Jerryd is able to rebuild the UA point guard legacy that Staf spent four years destroying. A good start would be doing this after every big bucket. But I'd settle for this silly-ass grin. Here's another side-by-side of the #32s.

Lupe, STAT, The Juice and more

Where's P-Mac will get to some original content in the very near future, perhaps too original of material...In the mean time, enjoy the following.

• First order of business, I need to fire my editor for letting me slip and not put Lupe Fiasco's "The Cool" on my list of albums to look out for. I'm going to don my ombudsman fitted, announcing that Where's P-Mac formally regrets the error and I will strive to never let it happen again...yada, yada, yada.

Lupe's freshman debut of "Food & Liquor" was tied for my favorite album of '06 with The Roots' "Game Theory." This Halloween Lupe will release his second album, "The Cool" which according to the following, stolen from an always-trustworthy message board, will expand on the same-named track from his first cd.

It is speculated that the album shares the title of a song already released on Food & Liquor in order to further explore the character about which the song was written.

"People are gonna see it and be like, 'Wow, ain't that the dude from this song?' I'm building concepts now for the album," he continued. "I got the title, and I work top down. ... This album is gonna be a bit more streamlined and a little bit more focused, I guess you could say...Not a concept album," he noted. "But I been wrestling with how to make the concept about what I want to make the album about fit but still have enough room where it's just not a full-on story about somebody else. Where you still get all the - what I think are - necessary ingredients to do a good, good album."

Thank God for Lupe Fiasco. I could go on some blogtastic rant about how hip hop is dead and artists only make ringtones and don't care about making full albums. But fuck it, I like Hurricane Chris. Even though I didn't know black people were back to being down with hurricanes.

Here are two singles from "The Cool." Forgive me for having concert clips only but apparently Lupe is on his extra grind to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Superstar feat. Matthew Santos (the same guy from Lupe's "American Terrorist")

Wherever I go

• Second, props to Paola Boivin of The Arizona Republic for this g'd up article on Amaré Stoudemire, who apparently has been spending his summer playing pick-up futbol games with Spanish-speaking players at Mesa Community College and taking Pilates courses at ASU. I can't stress it enough, read that article.

STAT also announced that he wants P.J. Brown to play alongside him next year. The same thing Stephon Marbury wanted years ago. If I ever own an NBA team, Steph will be the first person I interview for the GM position.

• I'm just going quote blog Kissing Suzy Kolber from this blog of glory.

You've got OJ Simpson in a video game. Fair enough.

You make OJ the star player on a team called The Assassins. Pretty Questionable.

Your mascot for the Assassins is a giant, hooded, knife-wielding maniac who celebrates touchdowns with a stabbing motion? Bellissimo!

• People from Ohio are just silly. 400 hours well spent.

• It could consume your day, but don't sleep on Gizmodo for things like this: ties, boobs and iPhone madness.

• SLAM's Lang Whitaker pointed out that while Boston my have a KG, Jesus Shuttlesworth, and Paul Pierce, they may have the worst 4 through 12 roster in the league. Case in point Rajon Rondo:

There were only two players left in the gym: Rondo and Doc Rivers’s eighth-grade son, Austin. Rondo, his shirt off, had assistant coach Kevin Eastman feed him the ball for 100 jumpers.

With nobody guarding him, Rondo hit 52 of them.

Minutes later, Doc’s son duplicated the drill — only he knocked down 70.

• I hope this bridge-collapsing nonsense is just a lame fad.

• Finally, I never thought I would say this about my favorite thing in life, but Entourage sucks. Mark Wahlberg if you're reading this...well if you're reading this little blog, that could be the problem...what the fuck is going on? The past two episodes have been miserable and this Sunday's looks equally bad. What happened to Medellín? Where the fuck is Billy Walsh? More importantly what the fuck happened to the plot? Come back to me Entourage.

Gil is God

Gilbert Arenas continues to further cement his position as the coolest motherfucker to ever graduate attend the University of Arizona. His blogging as of late has been utterly ridiculous, I'd highly recommend reading the whole thing but here are my highlights.

His Aug. 1 post:

I know this is random, but I just want to clear this up for people out there.
There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack.
I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.
We’re humans. We live on land.
Sharks live in water.
So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.
A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.
When I see on the news where it’s like, “There have been 10 shark attacks,” I’m like, “Hey, for real?! They’re just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don’t live underwater.”

After catching a little e-flak, he responded with this literary gem on Aug. 3:

Yeah, you’ve all been talking about it. I used someone else’s joke. What’s the big deal? I thought it was funny, I blogged it, you all laughed.
Mission accomplished.
Listen, nobody even heard of Ian Edwards before me. He’s no Chris Rock. I helped him become famous. Now everybody is going to YouTube and looking him up.
The joke was worth about $7 when I heard it, now that I’ve used it’s probably worth a little bit more. I’ll sell it back to him for $7.78. Seventy-eight cents, Ian, you can put that in a royalties check made out to me.
Puffy and Ashanti made careers out of stealing other people’s beats. This is
America, the land of the reused.
If you think about it, nothing is original. Every joke has been retold at some point. What I did was recycle a new joke instead of waiting for it to get old. It was too funny not too. I mean, at least I picked a good joke, right? It’s not like it was some lame, “Yo momma” joke.
Let’s not forget, “Hibachi” was stolen too. Brendan Haywood used to say it before me. But I recognize good stuff and make it popular. Now “Hibachi” is patented by Agent Zero, son.
I’m not a thief, I just reused it. Know who is a thief? The guy that is trying to sell the domain name of GilbertArenas.com to me. It’s my name! I have to buy it back from him. Now that’s stealing, borrowing, whatever you want to call it.
I mean they were even talking about it on PTI. Patrick McEnroe was saying I should quit making jokes about sharks and worry about rehabbing. Patrick, you’re right, I should be focusing on my knee. I guess taking 15 minutes to tell a joke doesn’t leave 23 hours and 45 minutes the rest of the day to be working on my knee.

I didn't want to post the entire blog here, but Gil has left me speechless. I would say trying to follow his blog is impossible, but impossible is nothing.