Just use the barrel of the tech

The future of SC

The red-hot Wildcats at the red-hot Trojans. Just how excited was I for this game? Well I completely ignored the Lost season premiere, so I was pretty fucking zoned in on this game.

• Early on SC is stroking tough shot after tough shot. A really impressive shooting display, too bad I'm actually going for Zona.
• 10:30 Bayless' alley-oop was clean. Almost as clean as the camera man zooming in on his Nike Air Zoom BBs.
• Throughout the season there have been spurts where I have forgotten Jawann was even on the team. Part of it has to do with all the attention focused on Budinger and Bayless, but the other part is because Jawann has the quietest game of any of the starters. He does a million and one things for UA, but half the time it's easy to forget he is even on the floor. It was great to see him hit three 3s in the first 8 minutes of the game.
• It's amazing that O.J. Mayo is simply beasting on Bayless and the Cats are still winning.
• Jawann McClellan, again God bless. The blocks, the put-backs, the all-out hustle. A great senior basketball player. You're a hero. No I don't think I have ever said anything this nice about a Wildcat not named Nic Wise.
• When they panned to Alex Jacobsen on the bench it literally took me 20 seconds to realize who it was. Alex looks like a stunt double for Kirk Walters, who is little more than a stunt double for incompetence.
• I love the way the announcers are giving love to Oregon's Pit Crew, by far the most g'd up student section in the Pac-10, if not nation. I've been meaning to note the briliance of the Pit Crew's last listserv e-mail for the UCLA game which had this genius passage:
• As most of you know, Lake Oswego's Lamest, Kevin Love, will be making his return trip to Oregon. His father, who once played basketball at Oregon, had the following to say about Ernie Kent after Kevin chose UCLA, "It wasn't us that blew it, they blew it. They destroyed that program." If placing four first round draft picks in the NBA is blowing it, I guess coach Kent has done just that during his tenure. Stan has been very critical of the program and the University he graduated from in the past few years. Lets greet these two with the welcome they deserve, and let Stan know that he's no longer a Duck; he's a traitor. Thursday's game is Nationally televised and will be broadcast on Fox Sports Network at 7:30. If you have time, give Kevin a call, text, or send him a picture; his cell phone number is 503-961-3265...and don't forget ucla is an Adidas school.
• Also props to FSN for two straight Bob Elliott-less broadcasts. I hope he caught whatever Dickie V had or just got finally got carpal tunnel from filling the screen with worthless telestration.
• Final: 80-69, Zona. Budinger 29 and 8 boards, McClellan 23 and 8 boards, O.J. Mayo 23, 4 dimes, and 5 boards.

Sneaker Watch: I am in love with all of SC's Air Zoom BBs. Shame on UA for not wearing black shoes on the road, what the fuck is going on?

Other stuff not related to the game:

Greatest moment in Al Jefferson history:

Looks as if Al Jefferson is just as quick with his wit as he is on his feet.

When Kevin Garnett emphatically reminded Jefferson of his all-star selections - "11 years! 11 years!" - Jefferson replied with something that Garnett couldn't top.

"I told him we both have one thing in common - no championships," Jefferson said. "He didn't like that too much."

If I, God forbid, was a Nets fan this would worry me a lot more than Jason Kidd skipping town. Dancing to Soulja Boy, very suspect. Dancing to Soulja Boy with all dudes, mad suspect.

RBK's train of thought...hmm...black people like sneakers, black people like Kool-Aid...Brilliant! It's like they got Mitt Romney doing the R&D.

I watched only a little of tonight's Democratic debate because this already made up my mind, but I saw enough to see that Jason Alexander was in attendance. Why didn't George get to ask any questions?

Washington wrap-up

Here's the delayed wrap-up of Thursday's Wildcats' upset of No. 6 Washington State

What you need to know:
Arizona hit 12-21 (57%) shots from 3-point land to defeat Washington State 76-64, handing the Cougars only their second loss of the season. Bayless had 23, Budinger had 22, pretty much any time that happens the Cats should win. The Cats lead the entire second half and almost the entire game as they held Kyle Weaver to 15 points and Derrick Low to 5 points.

What you don't really need to know:

• It was Zona's first home game since their Jan. 5 loss to Oregon and their first time playing in front of a fully-loaded Zona Zoo -which was depleted by winter break - since the Nov. 28 match-up against Cal State Fullerton.
• Officially it was rally-towel night as the entire McKale waved the towels in the air throughout the game. Unofficially, I declared it Petey Pablo night. Either way it got Jordan Hill excited. "They had those towels waving around, and we're really fired up," Hill said. "We got fired up with them tonight."
• Not worth noting: "Who am I?! Petey Pablo motherfucker!!" If you are going to be a 3-hit wonder, there's no better way to start a song.
• Worth noting: Hill didn't pick up a foul until midway though the second half, opposed to his normal style of picking up two fouls during pre-game lay-ups drills.
• Props to UA for ditching Kanye West's wildly over-played "Stronger" for the intro video and rolling with some lame-ass song I've never heard of. I'm still not sure how, but some how it makes it all less cheesy.
• I love Derrick Low. No homo.
• Kirk Walters checks in at the 12:30 mark of the first half. I take the under on a bet that he plays less than 2 minutes. He comes out at 10:05. Lost by 25 seconds. Dammit.

Saturday's game:
Washington at Arizona

What you need to know:
Arizona shot 70% in the first half and 62% overall to beat Washington State 84-69. Bayless 26, Budinger 25, yeah that'll do it. Each hit 5 threes, Budinger in 10 shots, Bayless in 6! If Bayless didn't have 2 fouls early on, the Cats could've hit 100. Ryan Appleby is a douchebag, yes that is something you need to know. Next week's road games at USC and UCLA should be great games.

What you don't really need to know:

• Even though I had tickets, I chose to watch this game at home solely because I didn't feel like standing up for two hours or moving the mile from my apartment to the McKale Center. I never claimed to be a die-hard Cats fan.
• I almost regretted it as the UNC and Maryland women's hoops game went into double OT causing fans at home to miss most of the first half.
• As I laid on my couch in sweatpants eating frozen pizza, I realized I made the right call.
• Never a close game. If the Cats are able to keep playing at this amazing pace, people will call the Washington State game a turning point.
  

Where's P-Mac Nic Wise Moment of the Game: Honestly, Nic Wise is just too good to have silly moments of the game. No longer do fans clinch when he has the ball, knowing something retarded is just around the corner. Coaches and fans alike are now confident when the rock is in his hands as he's matured into a solid point guard. In other words, he sold the fuck out on the WPMNWOTG.

Sneaker Watch: I think Kamyron Brown was wearing Birthday Lebron Vs against UCLA and Tajuan Porter rocked Seattle-edition Air Jordan XX2s.

Dumb rappers need teachin'

I do like Lil Wayne's music more than any knowledgeable, self-respecting hip-hop fan should and I rarely pass up the chance to see one of my favorite rappers perform. However I sacrificed the Weezy-headlined Tucson Takeover show in order to hit the slopes in Northern Arizona with the family over MLK day weekend.

Turns out right after the concert Lil Wayne was also high in Arizona, feeling ecstatic in the fresh powder. Not quite snowboarding, but more to the tune of getting arrested for having four ounces of marijuana, just over an ounce of cocaine, 41 grams of Ecstacy and miscellaneous drug paraphernalia on his tour bus.

Just for comparison purposes, my aunt packed six turkey sandwiches (one for each of us) for the 4-hour trip from Tucson to Pinetop. Lil Wayne packed a couple thousand dollars worth of drugs and .40-caliber pistol for his entourage of 12. In both situations I view it as being a great host and more importantly, as love.

I'm sure if I my aunt were a rapper and not a middle school home-economics teacher, she would have done the same for my cousins and I.

On the subject of dumb rappers...For someone who claims to be a hustler, Game probably should've tapped Heineken for a couple mil before tatting a giant red star on his face.

Who needs a second round?

When you have Camp Chen-A-Wanda. This video must be watched in its entirety to fully appreciate how awesomely bizarre it is. I'd like to personally thank the YouTube gods for this one.

Not that anything will compare to that video, but here's some other odds and ends...

Even though this is complete bullshit and just fucking retarded, I need the Heat to win the 52-second game just to give Atlanta another loss and in turn more lottery balls for Phoenix.

Portland never ceases to amaze me.

What's worse? A dead man cutting a check or an idiot cutting off his hand.

Currently my favorite TV show I have never seen an episode of.

Anyone Lupe co-signs is cool with me.

Fallin'

Agent Zero is out for the season. Bayless has been hurt. Mike Stoops is still the football head coach. ASU basketball is hot. Life can't get much worse for a UA fan.

A high from an Arrested Development marathon is the only thing keeping me remotely sane right now.

I wasn't expecting UA to win tonight and I had already accepted a loss days before the game started. Then I started watching the game and UA didn't look half-bad. The Cats lead by 12, I was reminded that UA had won 24 of the last 25 games against ASU and ASU's last win against the Cats was Jan. 23, 2002.

There is no way the Cats are going to lose this game. They lead what seemed like the whole fucking game, but to quote the great HOV, "you're tumbling, it's humbling, you're falling, you're mumbling/Under your breath like you knew this day was coming."

A loss to ASU.

Damn, gravity's ill.

I put the loss solely on Chase Budinger's shoulders. He looked good early on doing it all for UA as he hit 9 of UA's first 11 points. Then pulled the greatest disappearing act since Houdini for the rest of the night.

Let me see if I have this right. You're the reigning Pac-10 Freshman of the Year. It's your team. You're gearing up for the NBA next year. Shouldn't you take over the game at some point? Shouldn't you maybe take more than 5 shots in the second half?

Chase's second half stats: 5 points on 1-5 shooting (all from 3), 2 defensive boards. Wow.

I have no formal coaching experience, hell outside of giving the ball to Tracy McGrady every possession in NBA 2k2, I have no coaching experience at all. Still, I think it might have been a good idea for Chase to...hmm...DRIVE THE FUCK INSIDE or find his shot some where. I know ASU plays a solid zone, but UA's second half offense went as follows: four passes around the perimeter then settle for a bad 3 or dump it low to Jordan Hill. Every time.

Chase's overtime performance was equally impressive with his only shot being an off-balance, desperation 3 with 4 seconds on the clock, which clanked off the rim.

Chase second-half performance reminded me of my own play when I'm the worst player on a team at the rec. Stand around the perimeter and as soon as I catch the ball pass it back. But there's a big difference between an out-of-shape blogger and a team leader looking to go to the NBA.

A few quick notes:

• Remember last year when Jawann McClellen would take and hit 3s? What happened to those days?
• Zane Johnson meet the court.
• After Zane's 3 which hit the top of the backboard it might be a good idea to return to the comfort of the bench and shoot the shit with Kirk Walters.
• I can't even get into Bob Elliot tonight, but I hope he catches whatever Dickie V has.
• Solid return by UA after the embarrassing loss to Oregon on Saturday.

Where's P-Mac Nic Wise Moment of the Game: I hope it went something like this post game, "Chase how the fuck does the point guard only take 2 less shots than you? What the fuck were you doing out there?"

Final thoughts: When does softball season start again?

Good 'ol Duck blogging

As I do with all bad news related to my favorite teams, I've been sweeping Oregon's lackluster season under the blog rug. I figured that if I never mentioned the losses to St. Mary's, Nebraska, Oakland and ASU maybe the NCAA will forget about them too.

I also should thank my friends for not murdering me via text message, Facebook wall post or blogger comments after all those ridiculous losses. You're all much better people than me, because the big man up above (Christopher Wallace) knows I would never let that kind of failure go under the rug if my friends' teams were falling.

I really don't even know what to make of Oregon's shitty start to the season. As Bruce Pascoe points out here, all the numbers indicate they're fine, except for the only numbers that count. I haven't been reading The Oregonian as much as I should be, but I'm assuming John Hunt & Co. are pointing to a possible sophomore slump for Tajuan Porter, Joevan's injury or how huge Aaron Brooks really was. That or nobody gives a fuck since the Blazers are red hot.

Anyways here's the notes from today's UO at UA game, one of the games where I say I don't really care who wins, but I freak out every time Oregon hits a big shot and by the end of the game I'm going all-out for the Ducks.

• Nic Wise is starting. Tajuan Porter is not. I'm no doctor, but I am pretty sure at some point Nic might stole some of Tajuan's powers in a technique not seen since the Monstars stole Sir Charles' powers.
• At the 16:10 mark Jawann flew out of no where and blocked the shit out of Maarty Leunen, Jawann then flew into the base of the hoop. I thought for sure the 83-year-old McClellen would be out 6-8 months, but miraculously he got up and continued to play.
• When Chase Budinger's shot is on...Damn it's just beautiful. Regardless of how many buckets he hits I don't need to see his parents' reaction to every UA possession. Thanks FSN.
• I should throw it out there that I would have gone to this game if it were not part of UA's Holiday Package. I know it makes perfect economical sense to the ticketing department and Tucson locals, but it screws broke UA students.
• I would kill to be in a billiards class with Bryce Taylor and Malik Hairston.
• Who is that left-handed guy who just hit a shot for the Cats? Fendi-something...I am pretty sure most people forget he was on the roster.
• How bizarre is it that Warcraft now sponsors in-game stats?
• Yes I am loving every minute of Oregon's first-half 27-8 run.
• No I don't like seeing Tajuan Porter try to do too much with the ball then settling for a bad shot. His whole style of play is based on shots that need to go in or he looks like the dumbest guy on the court.
• Wow the Cats' weakside D, is just wow...Miserable.
• First half Ducks lead 48-37, shooting 60% from the field and 7-12 from deep. First-half pros: Oregon's shooting, transition game and quick shots inside. Cons: I ran out of ice cream and was forced to downgrade to Cheez-Its as an in-game snack.
• Honestly a huge halftime lunch knocked me out for the first 8 minutes of the second half. Where's P-Mac, Coverage you can count on.
• Cats got it close but Malik Hairston and the Ducks were just too much. Nice bounce-back win 84-74, Ducks.

Where's P-Mac Nic Wise Moment of the Game: I haven't done this in a while and in that 'while' Nic has been lighting it up, including his career-high 17 points Thursday against OSU. However today's WPMNWOTG is Nic's side-of-the-backboard clank with 40 seconds left in the game. After being wide open after a pump-fake Nic set himself up for 3 from the corner and hit straight rubber padding. Weights.

Sneaker Watch: Being at home and not having HD hurts. What also hurts is boring-ass team shoes, which almost, ALMOST make me miss Staf and Marcus Williams...Props to Tajuan on his UO Huarache 2k6s...Everyone else step your game up, it's not like you have to pay for them.

Randomness: OK I don't really read as much as I should, but this book based on 'what if's' got me thinking... What if LeBron went college, he would have murdered everyone right? Who the fuck would have stopped him? I don't see how he would have lost. Ever. They probably would have had to take some of John Wooden's 1960s and 70s wins away and gave them to Bron, just as a token of respect. Obviously we'll never know, but a 20-year R.I.P to Pistol Pete who didn't do bad for himself at LSU in his 3-year career there, averaging 44.2 ppg.