Maybe Mims killed it

2007 is young but Where's P-Mac has an early contender for bullshit rap video of the year. Mims - "This is why I'm hot." It wasn't a smart move on Mims' part because releasing it this early might make me forget about it come the yearly awards. The one syllable rhymes put this song in a lower league than the 2006 sole nomination and winner of the Where's P-Mac bullshit rap video of the year, Rich Boy's "Throw some D's." Actually for all I know this song came out in 2006 and I just somehow missed it. I heard it for the first time on the radio and thought it was just a local rapper trying to be famous in the 520. When I saw it on BET's "106 & Park" today I knew it was destined to shine on Where's P-Mac. Actually after a quick Wikipedia, this song blew up in December 2006, fuck it just the same.

Watch the video, but I wouldn't recomend watching it more than once. It's one of the worst songs ever.

• Obviously your song is weak if the hook is 80 percent of track. When your song has one bar before returning to the hook it's also never a good start
• The fake Missy/Rah Digga in the beginning is uncalled for.
  
• "I could sell a mil/ saying nothing on the track" This man having the ability to possibly sell a mil could be this weeks sign of the Apocalypse.
  
• If I were to make a bullshit rap video I would most definitely call out every region of the nation. Calling out New York and playing "shook ones pt. II" is disgraceful to all of NY is enough. But to shout out the "dirty, dirty," then the Midwest, then the Bay Area and disgracing 40 Water, then LA and shame Dr. Dre, then go back to Chicago and make even Jesus hate you. That's pushing it, he should have just repped the whole Northern Hemisphere.
  
• Early candidate for 'supporting actor of the year in a bullshit rap video' goes to "Black" from "call my homie black, meet me on the ave" fame
  
• I try not to the back that back-pack rapper, mainly because I can't hate that hard. But it still really pisses me off that rappers are trying to steal Kid Robot.
  
• Riding in a Rolls Royce Phantom isn't all that baller any more. You got to at least ride in concept Maybachs like this.
  
• Having a dude bounce around a t-shirt with your name on it is never baller.
  

Bullshit rap video scale:
Rims: 1/5
Bitches: 3.5/5
Grillin the camera: 3/5
Stacks of money: 0/5 (You do have money don't you? How will the audience know with only a glimpe of your stacks?)
Cadillacs: 2/5 (point for Range and Phantom)
Shots of your projects: 3/5
Guns: 0/5 (A little brandishing never hurt a rap video)
Drugs: 0/5
Liquor: 0/5 (Is it that hard to get a 40 out of your local bodega, that the essential bullshit rap video move)
Total Score: 12.5/45 (27.8 %)

Bold move for Mims to not even try to hide an inability to form a two-syllable rhyme behind a ghetto-fab video. Saying "This is why I'm hot" six times in a row to start the song is possibly the worst opening of any song. I can't even think of any song with such an atrocious opening.

Wikipedia had absolutely nothing to spot Mims some points. In fact the Mims in Florida with a population just above 9,000 is the number one Mims according to Wikipedia. Also Mims is apparently an acronym for "Music Is My Savior." Hopefully BIG and 'Pac spare his soul for embarrassing hip-hop.

R.I.P. the 06-07 season

I woke up at 4:15 a.m. and my first thoughts were, "I'm waking up this early to see 'Staf fuck up some fast breaks and Radenovic play like shit." I sometimes think I'm the most pessimistic Wildcat fan in all of Tucson, maybe it's because I'm bitter I didn't get to see Salim play in person, or maybe watching the Suns for the past three years has completely skewed my perception of basketball. I can't quite diagnose why, but I really don't like anyone not born in Houston on our team. I still got up, threw on the Zona Zoo tee, rocked the red Zona jacket and laced up the red and white game-day dunks ready to brace the cold for four hours.

I knew we were going to lose going into the game but being surrounded by Wildcat faithful, some who were in line a full 25 hours before tip off, and standing in the cold distorted all rational thinking and by 8 a.m. I was thinking we had a chance. Waiting in line, even with my friends, was still boring as hell and games of kick the bottle and throw Goldfish at people didn't provide much excitement. By 6 a.m. the line reached all the way to the UA mall, that's deep. It's also about this time that I speculate that half our team is just finding their way out of bed of sorority girls and remembering they have a game today. The only enjoyable thing was booing fans who donned Carolina Blue, props to the old guys who walked by the Zona Zoo wearing UNC jackets and raised the roof like it was 1993 all over again.

At about 8 a.m. there was a loud bass sound and I thought the band was going to provide a little "Bear Down" as a little pick me up. I was wrong and it was just a DJ providing a little Hov to remind the fans that lady's is pimps too. David Bagga came out and gave an inaudible speech. Lute followed and gave a speech that basically talked about how great UNC and Roy Williams are. Thanks Lute. Oh yeah, some drunk dude got tased, that's kinda cool. Props to anyone who was trashed before the sunrise, dedication to college is always appreciated.

We finally got in McKale at 9 a.m. and one of my retarded friends decided to kill our hard work waiting in line and pick out shitty seats behind the basket, so the backboard would obstruct our view of the opposing end for the full 40.

There are several lame signs with retarded CBS acronyms. We're in college, we should be able to come up with something better than Chase Budinger Show. The sign of the game, the season and possibly the decade goes to whoever the geniuses were who brought this gem.


Maybe it's the lack of sleep or it could just be sheer stupidity, but for one reason or another our Zona Zoo fans heckle the other Zona Zoo fans who came late to the game with chants of "Nose bleeds."

One idiot decked out in full UNC apparel struts around the Zona Zoo with a sign cheering for UNC. He gets his fair share of boos before one badass comes in and rips his sign in half. The kid was crushed because his sign was real clean and well done, but maybe coming into a section full of tired drunk fans wasn't the greatest idea.

Fan of the game goes to the kid wearing a upper half of gorilla costume under a Hassan Adams jersey. As if a Hollywood-costume-design status gorilla head wasn't enough, he had a UA headband around the top and a grill on the gorilla teeth. Some where Paul Wall is crying purple tears of joy. The dude also has a sign reading "Our Skillz r Bananas."

UNC warm-ups consist of sliding on their chests like they just scored a goal.

Seeing UNC in person is unbelievable because playing UNC basketball is the dream of any kid who ever wanted to be like Mike. Looking at those guys who currently rock Carolina Blue made me think just how awesome that must be to play basketball for the UNC.

• Fantastic start for the Cats who turn it over four of their five first possessions. Staf also has two behind-the-back passes in the first three minutes.
• 14:00 The crowd cheers as Radenovic hits an easy bucket under the hoop. I refuse to cheer and I think this is like Chris Rock's whole n****** versus blacks argument. Why would I be happy when someone does something they're supposed to do.
  
• 13:30 Mustafa does his typical jump-in-the-lane-spin-around-and-pray thing and finds an open Jordan Hill who throws down (c) Bill Walton a sick one-handed slam.
• 13:00 Hill again goes for a vicious one-handed dunk, this time he is blocked. He recovers the ball and slams it with two hands. 14-19, UNC.
• 11:29 Marcus Williams finds Jordan Hill for another dunk to bring the Cats to the closest they ever got. 15-16, UNC.
• Props to the coolest grandma ever, Phyllis, and the row behind her for jumping up and down while all the other fans sat in their seats.
• 10:06 Marcus Williams gets the ball three feet off the elbow, he calmly dribbles twice and wets a long jumper. I don't think I have seen a smoother play all season. 20-21.
• 9:06 Ty Lawson effortlessly drives coast to coast for the easiest possesion of his collegiate career. 21-25.
• Wells Fargo runs a promotion during the game giving somebody who holds up their Wells Fargo card $100. The student section never wins because Wells Fargo doesn't realize we don't have jobs and alcohol and other illicit items don't pay for themselves. One student has a huge poster that is a giant Wells Fargo gold card. It must have took an incredible amount of time and ink because it looks very official, even having aluminum foil for a hologram. It also has each year the Cats made the Final Four for digits, I'm hardcore enough to recognize this. Unfortunately the kids gets shafted each of the three times the promotion is ran.
  
• 6:30 Nic Wise is 0-2 from 3-point land in the 20 seconds he's in the game.
• 4:48 Marcus misses a 3 and falls to the ground clutching his ankle. My notes read "Season over."
• Random sidenote: Will Kirk Walters be the first player to me on two media guides/schedules/posters/magnets, and anything else that has all the seniors on the cover.
  
• 3:28 I realize Chase Budinger, who was again worthless on the defensive end, has played about two minutes of the game.The team looks completely shook after seeing their leading scorer carried off the court. The whole crowd has lost all of its energy as we all sit shiva for the Wildcats season. It's also at this point I realize we are down 14, 23-37.
• 2:56 Ivan Radenovic gets called for the foul for trying to take a charge on Tyler Hansbrough at halfcourt. My friend quotes SNL's amazing Michael Vick skit, saying, "Ivan Radenovic. Really? You're going to try to take a charge on Tyler Hansbrough. Really? At halfcourt. Really?"
• Is it too early for "Put in Bayless" chants. Not for me. I try to get them going but nobody follows.
• 21.5 Staf hits Radenovic on a fastbreak for what would be an easy lay-up, at least for anybody who has touched a basketball at least once in their life. Some how Radenovic lays it up strong off the backboard and it misses. Really!?! It is at this point that the threes that disrupt the flow of the offense, missed shots from two feet, lack of rebounding, inability to defend the paint and overall horrible play come together to make me officially hate Radenovic.
  
• Pastner pulls the gun out of Lute's mouth and Arizona calls a timeout.
  
• UA comes out of the timeout and has Staf turn it over to Reyshawn Terry, who hits an easy lay up (take notes Radenovic) on the other end. Lute puts the gun back in his mouth.
  
• Halftime. 25-43, UNC.
• UA: nine turnovers, 0-10 from behind the arc
• My notes in the second half were sparse. Chase decided to finally play a little bit and get 16 points in the second half. Staf had a few blocks and solid buckets. Most notably Marcus Williams came back, didn't do a whole lot, but he can play. Really nothing worth mentioning, not when your team is down 15 the whole time.
  
• 5:03 Wayne Ellington emphatically slams on somebody who I can't remember, the whole Zona Zoo is quiet except for me as I yell "Oh shit!" I would say this was the nail in the coffin but that happened in the first half. This was after long after the funeral, after the coffin had been buried. This was like 5 years down the line, putting some rocks on the gravestone.
  
• At some point Radenovic was at the line and someone from the Zona Zoo boldly yells "You suck." Someone follows, "Go home" to the Serbia Montenegro native. Tarny yells, "Take away his visa," and then said that he plans on bringing a "I voted yes on Prop. 200" sign to the next game (Prop. 200 was an anti-immigrant bill).
• 2:15 Staf hits the first and only 3 for the Cats on the night, 1-23 from deep for the night.
  
• Somewhere in the second half I dazed off and started thinking about Oregon basketball and how I plan going to Pac-10 tourney just to cheer on the Ducks. Loyal fan I am not.
  
• I'm not quite sure how or why but I somehow took pleasure out of seeing my team get humiliated on national television. Maybe I was just determined that losing an hour sleep at 6 a.m. to buy tickets and spending my night/morning waiting in line for seats was in no way going to result in misery. Maybe I have something else wrong with me but I had a great time. I enjoyed cracking jokes at how horrible our team is (yes I know we are not horrible) and watching UNC pick us apart toward the end. I can't even come close to explaining it and I would have rather seen us win, but I'm not going to be the douche at the end of the game trying to get a chant of "play with heart" going. .
• Final: UNC, without Brandan Wright and Marcus Ginyard 92, UA with half a Marcus Williams 64.
  
• I'd like to brag that in the newspaper staff meeting I picked UA to lose 61-87. I know in the ASU post I said we'd lose by 16, but in the meeting I was unable do 87-16 that quick so I said 61, which ended up being a hell of a lot closer.

Nic Wise Moment of the Game: In his first possession of the game Nic Wise gets the ball at he top of the key with a defender in his face. He doesn't hesitate, think about an offense, the biggest game in his life, being nationally televised, being down seven points and fades back awkwardly firing up a brick. To quote Gilbert, "When you’re an assassin, you don’t have a conscience." And when you're Nic Wise you don't have logic. Nic's freshman swag is quite phenomenal, especially since he followed this shot with another unsuccessful 3-ball. Give him a year or three and he'll be killing people from long range like the court was his own book depository.

Sneaker Watch: To quote Fendi Onobon, who got 3 boards in five minutes of action, "We got better Jays than (UNC)." That's right Fendi, they may have kicked our asses two years in a row, but our kicks are fresher. No AP Poll, USA Today Poll, or 28-point loss can take that away from us. On to the watch: Mustafa Shakur switched back to the black/red Zoom Lebron IV...Jordan Hill white/red Air Max Penny IV...Jawann McClellen still unkown low-top black nikes with white sole (someone get me a good pic of these)...UNC mainly had Jordan team shoes in UNC colorways with exceptions for Wes Miller grey/carolina blue Zoom Kobe 1...Wayne Ellington, Ty Lawson, Deon Thompson, Alex Stepheson grey/carolina blue Jordan Melo M3.

Douchebags of the Game: This kid below for not only wearing lame Oakleys and a headband, but also for bringing a sign saying "I love Billy Packer." Come on man, why don't you just say, "Billy, I'll give you felatio" for a half-second spot on CBS.

• 

Close second goes to the girl who was dressed like a sleazy Little Red Riding Hood in a stupid red dress. I respect the creativity, but this is a basketball game, not a fairy-tale themed date-dash, wear a fucking t-shirt or a jersey. She also loses points for singing along to Usher's "Yeah." Even deaf people are sick of that song.

**Props to Derek Van Dyke for all the photos (excluding the Texas School Book Depository).

The Bible Says

Props to my friend Dustin for finding this glorious internet gem. The website seems like it could be legit, completely insane, but legit none the less. The C.H.O.P.S. movement, if real, is basically the anti-gay equivalent of the Ku Klux Klan except they are substituting Jesus Christ for Daniel Carver. Make sure to look around the entire site to find ridiculous statements such as, "Follow me and together we'll C.H.O.P.S away the Gay." Also, unless you want to turn gay, you might want to stop listening all these artists.

The best part about the site is the leader of C.H.O.P.S. (Changing Homosexuals into Ordinary People), a reformed homosexual named Donnie Davies. His first music video, "The Bible Says" from his group the Evening Service must be seen below. It's possibly the best thing of all time, unless your a homosexual with no sense of humor, then it's the worst thing of all time.

Davies also admits his video blog below that he lost 120 pounds with the help of homosexuals then goes on to talk about his program which will transform them into "ordinary people." He also shouts out a bunch of MySpace people and bloggers and if he ever shouts out 'Where's P-Mac' in one of his video blogs it will be the single greatest thing of all time. Point-blank period.






The more I read all the ramble on this guys site, the more I begin to think this guy is for real and the world is much more ridiculous than I ever thought. Also worth noting is that he is from Houston. That being said I cannot wait until a chopped-n-screwed version comes out with Donnie rocking a grill.

Peace be with you,
Justin

H-U-S-T-L-E

Still being upset from ASU killing UA's football dream of getting to a meaningless bowl game, I really wanted to see UA kill ASU in basketball, like by a good 50 or so. The thing that pissed me off most about our home-loss in football was having ASU fans taunt us after the game and then have the pleasure of driving back to a real city. We couldn't even give them the whole "At least we don't live in Tucson," because we are the ones who live in this barrio.

Fortunately despite Tucson freezing over we still won the basketball game, 71 to 47, preventing a mass suicide from our athletics department. The Zona Zoo sold out the game for the I think the second time this season, which was more annoying than beneficial. Where the hell were these fans during the rest of the season. Thank you fair-weathered fans for making it harder for me to get a ticket and making it even harder for me to get a good seat. It will be real interesting to see who shows up to the Washington State game next Wednesday night, a game which will be a much better match-up than the slaughter that will be the UNC game.

Also I don't mean to boast, but damn if I don't brag: My friend Tarny and I did have one of the best signs in McKale Center history tonight. The sign (seen above) of course referring to Nic Wise's return to the game from his academic probation, which Nic claimed was the result of some confusion on a road trip. Whatever Nic, we got your back. The sign actually got a small laugh out of the man himself during his pregame warm-ups.
On to the game...

• Marcus Williams is in street clothes, I presume resting his sprained left wrist for the UNC game. I am wrong and we now have a new problem to add to the three-game losing streak.
• Fendi became the newest member of rock your iPod during warm-ups club. Nothing like a good ol' Screw tape to get the kids ready for the game.
• I'm really opposed to the passing out of free t-shirts, whether it be in game or pregame. If you get more excited over a shitty XL tee with sponsors all over it than the actual event maybe you should have gone to a mall instead of a sporting event.
• Not everyone is of this belief (i.e.: Tarny) who dove across three metal seats to get an "ASWHOO" shirt he later claimed came down from heavens to find his hands.
• 17:50 Budingers throws a perfect pass to Radenovic down low. Radenovic doesn't like his beat down low or the ball down low and he misses the easy lay-in. Fortunately, Jordan Hill, in his first start ever, follows the miss for the rebound and two-handed slam. Radenovic is really turning into one of the worse big men to ever touch a basketball court. Here is is his shot selection (taken from cbssportsline.com): Keep in mind this is going against a man an inch shorter than him. He only got off nine shots in 31 minutes all without Marcus Williams taking his normal 20 shots. Again against the worst team in the Pac-10 with no dominant big men.
  
• 
• 11:47 Nobody, except for Budinger, on the floor is willing to take a shot for the Cats. UA leads 13-11. Off the top of my head I remember ASU not scoring until the 8-minute mark in last year's game. Damn we look horrible.
• 8:36 Fendi misses a 12-footer from the baseline. I'm not looking this up but I would put money on this being Fendi's first shot attempt in the first half of a game this season.
• 7:52 Nic Wise checks in. Budinger already has 9 points.
• 7:24 ASU's Derek Glasser hits a long 3 to put ASU up 17-18.
  
• 6:05 Wise finds Jawann in the corner for a 3 to put the Cats back on top and on top for good, 20-18.
• 2:43 H-town hooks up again. Wise to Jawann for a 3-pointer. 29-23, Cats.
  
• Jawann strokes another three just before the half. 37-26, Cats.
• The Win-a-Buick halftime shooting contest hits an all time low when they have some grandma try to hit a lay-up, free-throw, 3-pointer, and halfcourt shot to win a Buick. The woman doesn't even hit the bottom of the net on the lay-up and her 30 seconds are up before she knows it. How the hell does Buick find these people to compete.
• 19:38 Jordan Hill starts right were he left off, with a two-handed dunk.
• 16:37 Jordan Hill drives baseline and has something like a 230° one-handed dunk that he is fouled on. It was more than a 180°, and a real sick dunk outta the freshman who complained that assistant coach Josh Pastner was being too hard on him in practice. Hill misses the and-1 but Budinger ends up with a three on the play to make it a 5-point possession.
• 14:09 Radenovic hits a three on the fourth shot in one possession for the Cats.
  
• Boring rest of the game, Cats would win it 71-47.
• Budinger lead UA with 21 and 10. ASU was lead by Glendale native Christian Polk, who had 11 points. Overall we looked pretty bad and I expect us to lose to UNC by 16.
  

Nic Wise Moment of the Game: You'll never find a dime that is not Nic Wise's. My friend Greg, who missed his chance to get a UNC ticket, went last-resort style and put a note on Facebook saying he was desperate for a ticket. The only response to his cry for help. One, Nic Wise who I'm sure broke all kinds of NCAA and team rules by selling a ticket in his name to Greg for 80 bones.

Sneaker Watch: Chase Budinger finally switched it up and got new blue/white/red Zoom Kobe I...Mustafa Shakur all-black Zoom Lebron IV...Nic Wise Kingwood H.S. edition black/red Nike Shox (it's killing me that I can't remember the name on these)...Marcus Williams Jordan Mars IV... I need better seats and/or the local papers and the SID office to hook up some better pictures, the 14th row makes the sneaker watch tougher than it needs to be.

Throwin D's To the...

Kanye's freestyle over Rich Boy's "Throw some D's." It's lacking the Polow da Don element, but Kanye throwing rims on model chicks just sounds right for one reason or another.

Not-so-mean 'Gene

The afro. The gangsta socks. Wearing retro Nikes before retro Nikes were cooler than new Nikes. The Arvydas Sabonis edition knee pads. The only Wildcat to play in two final fours. Eugene Edgerson is simply awesome.
I was lucky enough to have a chance to sit down with him prior to his Harlem Globetrotters game on Sunday. Here is the article.

Cats, ducks, twerkers, and everything in between

Yes I love Oregon. I love their ridiculous uniforms - all 900 of them. I love their dope shoes. I love the fact that Aaron Brookes gave Ryan Appleby a fierce 'bow to the dome in the Pac-10 tourney last season. I love the fact that it's a school whose sole academic booster that matters is Phil Knight. That being said I was much more devastated then I thought I'd be when the Ducks came into McKale and killed my Martin Luther King Jr. Day Eve with one floating bank shot. I guess my heart bears down more than I thought because that loss stung for a while. Shit, it still hurts. I guess we just weren't as fly as them. Let's get to the notes, they're heavy today, dare I say as heavy as a seven series beamer, man.

• "It's bright orange and it's from the 80s," said the cop to the hardcore Cats fan who was dressed in full hunting attire and was packing a Nintendo Duck Hunt gun. Eventually the higher-ups would veto the fan's creativity and take away his gun.
  
• Almost two hours to tip-off and the Zona Zoo is going all out to boo an Oregon player while he warms up with a trainer.
  
• Oregon's Tajuan Porter does his early warm-ups with iPod in hand. Fuck a team chemistry.
  
• Chase Budinger practices his shot from halfcourt then decides to do more practical reverse-no-look-left-handed lay-ups.
  
• Not to be upstaged by Chase's worthless drills, Marcus Williams and David Bagga shoot from sitting in the courtside seats. Bagga sinks one on about his fifth attempt.
  
• Jordan Hill takes some practice jumpers and grabs rebounds all with a granola bar in his mouth. The only thing that could make UA warm-ups cooler would be if somebody was able to pull off this.
  
• Oregon's Chamberlain Oguchi and Jawann McClellen meet at halfcourt to exchange some love. I check Champ's tags and they read Houston, Texas. Now I see the connection.
  
• 18:27 Tajuan pulls up for a deep 3 before even thinking about running any sort of offense. Wet. 0-3, Ducks.
  
• 16:00 Tajuan rolls with the 3-ball, but misses on his next two attempts.
• 15:08 Jawann gets another poster-worthy dunk after killing Oregon State's Kyle Jeffers last game. This time he goes baseline and has a sick two-handed jam. 12-10, Cats.
  
• 12:47 Marcus strokes a 3 from the top of the arc for his 10th point in less than eight minutes.
• 11:33 Marcus gets the and-1 on a strong drive through the lane, 19-15, Cats.
• After Williams completes the and-1 Jordan Hill tries to switch it up to makers and attempts to take the ball out from under the Cats’ basket. Apparently the NCAA frowns on that sort of thing and Jordan is forced to hand the ball back to the referee so the Ducks can have their possession.
• 9:07 Jawann and Fendi check in the game, I think this is the earliest Fendi’s ever checked in a game this season. Fendi lasts a whole one minute, enough to log a foul and turnover.
  
• 7:34 Aaron Brookes strokes a deep 3 to put the Ducks up 20-24.
• 4:47 Marcus Williams again powers his way through the key to put the Cats back on top 28-27.
• Halftime: 38-37, Cats
• The security guard who stands near the visitor’s tunnel all game has a tattoo that reads “hate” across his right forearm. I was never able to see what his other arm was tatted up with, but I’d assume it said “my life.”
• A hardcore Duck fan - dressed much more conservatively than last year - makes his way to Zona Zoo to enjoy the boos as he proudly waves his huge Oregon flag. Last year the same dude threw tennis balls to the students saying "Go Ducks." The man has my respect for being die-hard.
• Halftime: 38-37, Cats. The Cats have pretty much met their worst nightmare aside from a dominating big-man - the Ducks are making a lot more 3's than any other team the Cats have faced.
  
• 14:05 Oregon's Adrian Stelly - who doesn't see a minute of playing time - somehow falls out of his chair after an Oregon turnover. Oregon leads by six at the break 49-55. It's not worth noting that Oregon sits in the middle of the court for timeouts.
  
• 12:22 Mustafa Shakur competes an and-1 to put the Cats up 56-55.
• Where the hell is Ooo-Aah man?
• 6:14 Chase Budinger starts a fastbreak by blocking Adam Zahn. The break ends with Shakur spinning to the basket and finishing a reverse lay-up. It was the coolest Arizona play I've ever seen in person and it really just looked like somebody was playing a video game and pushing down every button while holding turbo. I've never seen so many silly moves performed in such a short time span.
• G'd up fan of the night award goes to the dude rocking the Lance Briggs Bears jersey.
• 3:43 Marcus Williams is the only guy for Arizona who can get a board, as he grabs a crucial offensive board and is sent to the line. 73-72, Cats.
• 2:45 Marcus Williams swats Aaron Brookes jumper 77-72, Cats.
• 1:50 Brookes crosses up Jawann pretty badly before drilling a 3 to tie the game up at 77.
• :22 With the game still tied Staf goes to his go-to move drive in the lane jump in the air and pray. This time it doesn't work as Aaron Brookes steals the ball. Timeout Oregon.
• Aaron Brookes nails a floating lay-up off the glass to put the Ducks up two with two ticks on the clock.
• I'm reminded this isn't the NBA as Radenovic is forced to throw the down the entire court for the Cats to have a shot at forcing an OT/winning the game.
  
• The ball is deflected out of bounds on Oregon, the Cats have it on their sideline.
• :01 The ball is inbounded to Marcus Williams. He fades back from 15 feet along the baseline and hits the iron.
  
• Ducks win. 77-79.
• Marcus Williams reset his career high with 34 points (11-20 from the field, 10-10 from the line) to go along with 12 boards. Staf had 21, Jawann had 12, the next leading scorer was Radenovic with 6.
• Radenovic is making me look like an idiot for saying he is gonna be good in the NBA and is better than Staf. He played horrible tonight as he got out-worked in every possible aspect of the game. He was pretty much worthless and I would have liked to have seen more Jordan Hill. Not that I would even think about screaming, "Put in Jordan."
  
• This leads to my biggest pet-peeve of going to games: students who yell plays at the court. Kid behind me, we get it, you play EA Sports March Madness 2007 all-day, you came off the bench for your high school team, this does not give you the right to challenge anything Lute Olson does. The man has a ring and 23 straight tourney appearances to his name. That holds a little more weight than being the video game king in your dorm hallway.
• UA bench stat line: 15 minutes, 2 steals, 2 dimes, 2 turnovers, 2 fouls, 1 board, NO shot/free throw attempts.
• Oregon went 13-26 from beyond the arc. UA: 3-15.
• Chase Budinger was invisible - not in the Tony Yayo 'you can't see me' invisible, but in the 'I didn't know he was on the court' invisible - in the game, putting up seven shots for four points in 33 minutes.
  

Nic Wise Moment of the Game: Why Nic? Why couldn't you just turn in your paper and allow me to exagerate your greatness to the 10s of readers of Where's P-Mac. Why Nic? Why? For the time being the Nic Wise moment of the game will be the 'What the fuck am I doing in life' slouch Nic rocked pre-game as he sat on the bench my himself.

Sneaker Watch: Staf switched back to the black/red Zoom Lebron IV...Jordan Hill black/red Jordan Dub Zero...Jawann and Marcus still ???...Aaron Brookes warmed up with the Air Moneys then switched before the game to all-black Huarache 2K6...Tajuan Porter black/green/yellow Huarache 2K5...Adrian Stelly black/white unreleased Jordan XV...Joevan Catron Nike ID'd Oregon colorway of Air Zoom Flight Five...Some injured dude on Oregon white/green Jordan IV

Douchebags of the Game: 1) The kid behind me who sang along to Kanye's "Golddigger" pregame. Dude if you were alive at any point during 2005 you know the words to "Golddigger," there is no need to sing along and think you're cool. 2) There was a little kid in the Oregon section who would scream any time a Wildcat was shooting a free throw. He is not the douche, nor are they Zona Zoo fans who yelled "Santa's not real" and "I want to band your mom." The douche would be the student who yelled "I want to slit your throat with my teeth" toward the kid who could not have been older than 10.

Oh. So that's where Nic Wise is.

Turns out my last 'Nic Wise Moment of the Game' was not only hyperbolic to the point where it may have crossed the line, it was also factually incorrect. According to this article from the Arizona Daily Wildcat Nic Wise was on the bench last night and is out because of academic reasons.
The highlight of the article was definitely:

Sources said Wise may not be out for the rest of the season. The freshman might be able to clear up the class by turning in a paper, they said.

This great feat of procrastination further secures Wise as my favorite player on the team and official player of Where's P-Mac. Every kid in college has been in the situation of being up at 1 a.m. after a marathon of Seinfeld, video games, or nothing and thought to themselves, "Shit, if I don't do this paper tonight my GPA is gonna die." Nic Wise being the ultimate procrastinating champ, must have said to himself, "Shit, if I don't do this paper I'm going to fail the class and not be able to play for a top-10 basketball team. Fuck it. I'm going to bed."
I used to think I will never be as good an athlete as a D1 player, but nobody procrastinates harder than me, now I see that college athletes have beat me in my own game. Respect, Nic Wise. Respect.

Where's P-Ma...er... Where's Nic Wise??

Tonight's recap of the No. 10 Arizona hosting Oregon State University takes a big hit due to being taken away from my glorious seat at the scorers' table and being relegated back to the ol' Zona Zoo. I realize this is the same as complaining about going from a Bentley to a BMW, but damn, I miss those court side seats with full stats right in front of me and the Cats bench four feet to my left. These game notes are quite light on stats and over-all notes, since it's hard to stand in the student section, cheer and make wildly inappropriate chants while taking copious notes. As always if you want a in-depth look at the game you can go here, here, or here. If you want a page that celebrates any action by back-up freshman Nic Wise and equally values the players' kicks as much as their game, Where's Paul McPherson is the spot for you.

• Wilbur is either going for a new gangster look or has Vern Troyer inside of him, either way everything on Wilbur is extra baggy. Wilma needs to be here to tell Wilbur to show a little class, tuck his jersey back in and pull his shorts up from his Chucks.
  
• 18:19 Marcus Williams strokes a 3-pointer off a Chase Budinger assist. Marcus back-pedals down the court while talking reckless to his defender.
  
• 15:50 Chase Budinger gets the hustle play of the game for fighting for a rebound under his own basket then throwing the ball off the Oregon State player to keep possession in the Wildcats' hands. 12-5, UA. Chase has 5 points and 2 boards in less than five minutes of play.
• 15:42 Mustafa Shakur lobs a perfect pass from near the 3-point line to Budinger, who completes the back-door alley-oop.
  
• Props to the Zona Zoo student who was wearing a Daniel Dillon wig with the headband and all. Giving props to the sixth man on a team stacked full of talent is dope and another good reason it's good to have the Zona Zoo back in McKale after the holiday break.
  
• 7:45 Jawann McClellen hits a cutting Shakur on a fast break, Shakur catches the pass in mid-stride and completes the alley-lay-up. 28-18, Cats.
  
• 7:26 Williams hits another 3 to give himself a quick 12 points.
• 3:41 On a fast break McClellen gets a vicious two-handed dunk on Kyle Jeffers and draws the foul. If McClellen would have been able to finish the dunk cleaner it would have been one of, if not the, top dunk of the season. McClellen falls the ground hard post dunk and Marcus Williams does a crazy tribal dance and screams to congratulate McClellen.
• :13.6 The Wildcats are up plenty and Lute still calls a time-out before going into the half. If he can Lute always call a time-out before the half, just to keep the momentum in the Cats' favor, I'd assume. These pre-halftime time outs result in one of two options: one, finding Budinger in the corner for a 3-pointer, which happens one out of every 10 times. The other option which happens the other nine out of 10 times is Shakur dribbling the clock out and throwing up a stupid lay-up, whiling praying for a bail-out whistle. This time is like most where Shakur "earns" his way to the line, where he sinks both shots.
• Halftime: 42-27
• 16:40 Staf steals the ball in the mid-court and gives it to Williams for the dunk and his 20th point of the night, 50-31 Cats.
• 9:34 The Beavers cut the Cats' lead to 10 points 61-51 off a bunch of UA turnovers and overall sloppy play.
• 8:24 Fendi Onobon gets some burn as he checks in for McClellen. Mohamed Tangara, who the local papers said would be most likely to get more minutes due to Bret Brielmaier's bum knee, doesn't see the court until 1:02 remains in the game.
  
• Yes, I do believe Fendi, who was averaging just under two minutes a game this season, was the one to Tanya Harting Brielmaier's knee in practice to get himself some real minutes.
• Final, 83-72. Arizona bounces back from the Washington State OT loss and improves to 13-2 on the season. Marcus Williams put up a career-high 27 points in a sloppy contest. The Wildcats shot 49.1 percent from the field, rebounding from their 39.4 percent shooting against Washington State, but still 10 percent below what they were averaging against the Pac-10 before Washington State.
  
• Oregon State's Kyle Jeffers was on the receiving end of a Zona Zoo barrage of taunts, which I believe only started because he got dunked/shitted/owned/flushed/slammed on by McClellen late in the first half. Jeffers put up the huge numbers of 2 points, 4 boards, 2 assists, and 3 turnovers in 21 minutes, so I can't think of any other reason for the taunts. However the relentless taunts must have gotten to Jeffers because post-game while exiting the court via the tunnel next adjacent to the Zona Zoo he spit on a fan. It's not known for sure what happened after that, but there was some police involvement. CBS.sportsline.com's wire read:

  The game wasn't pretty, and neither was the aftermath. Moments after the final horn, Oregon State senior center Kyle Jeffers had a confrontation with a fan and was briefly detained by police.

  Oregon State coach Jay John followed Jeffers and officers into a room off the court. Jeffers later joined teammates in the locker room and did not speak to reporters. John said his player had not been arrested.

  "I am just fighting for my guy," John said. "I didn't see what happened. I just saw my player being taken away. I wanted to see what is going on."

• Point of the story is despite their poor showing thus far in the season, the Zona Zoo seems to be on the rise and they're definitely having an effect on the game.
• I thought for sure after this game that if we played this way again we would get killed by Oregon on Sunday, then I saw that Oregon only beat Arizona State by five. It'll be interesting to see which Oregon and Arizona teams show up Sunday.
  

Nic Wise Moment of the Game: Nic's 'DNP' is the worst thing to happen to this blog since I realized I was illiterate in html. When Nic was not present at the pre-game shoot-a-round I assumed that he was simply putting the finishing touches on a chopped-n-screwed version of the Wildcats' introduction. Then when I could not find Nic on the Wilcats' bench it was like watching the second plane hit the World Trade Center, everyone knew this was something much more serious and no mere case of too much time in the training room. Nic was sited as missing the game for the ever-ambiguous "personal reasons," which probably means my friend Tarny was right and this has something to do with Paul Wall being in town for his Saturday night concert.

Sneaker Watch: Lots of new kicks: Mustafa Shakur white/navy Zoom Lebron IV...Daniel Dillon black Jordan Melo M3...Jawann McClellen and Jordan Hill some new black/red Nikes (damn student section, can't see shit from nine rows up)...Marcus Williams and Fendi Onobon all black Nikes (see McClellen and Hill's entry)

More Madness. Title IX Represent

If the simple posting of YouTube videos on this blog was not radical enough for you, the following should be more than enough.
The sports journalism course I am enrolled in forced me to miss the first half of the Arizona versus Washington game which Greg Hansen described as poetry in today's Arizona Daily Star. Instead Where's P-Mac readers will be treated to a review of the woman's Arizona versus Washington game. Not only will there be my typical game notes, but also I wrote an article about the game, which can be read below (Martin Longhi from my sports journalism class assisted in the article).

Joy Hollingsworth’s career-high 31 points were not enough to keep Arizona from losing its fifth straight to a red-hot Washington team.

Washington remained undefeated in the Pac-10 and won its ninth straight game to boast its record to 12-4 on the season.

Washington was able to consistently penetrate Arizona’s zone defense allowing Washington to shoot 49.2 percent from the field, 10 percent higher than Washington’s season average.

Washington head coach June Daugherty credited her team’s depth and veteran leadership for her team’s victory. Washington had four players score in double-digits.

Arizona’s scoring was not as diverse. The next leading scorers to Hollingsworth were Jessica Arnold and Amina Njonkou who had seven points a piece. Apart from Hollingsworth and Arnold, nobody attempted more than four field goals.

Washington opened the second half with a 16-8 run to boost its lead to 16. Arizona responded with a 13-3 run to cut Washington’s lead to six with eight minutes remaining.

“They (Arizona) were mixing it up defensively, and we were allowing Hollingsworth too many open shots,” Daugherty said of Arizona’s second-half run.

The Huskies returned to their stifling defense and again found their rhythm on offense closing out the remainder of the game for the 17-point win.

Arizona senior guard Joy Hollingsworth posted a career high with 31 points, on 10 for 24 shooting. Hollingsworth’s previous high was 26.

“It means nothing to me,” said Hollingsworth, who added that she would rather score zero points and have a win.

Arizona junior guard Jessica Arnold shot 1-13 from the field in the absence of her
backcourt teammate Ashley Whisonant, who was out with a knee injury.

“I always want to help out my team and I think sometimes I try too hard. I need to choose my shots better,” said Arnold.

Arizona has lost six of its past seven games and is now 6-10, 0-4 Pac-10.

Washington will finish its road trip through Arizona against Arizona State on
Jan. 7. The Wildcats will try to break their losing streak on Jan. 6 against Washington State at the McKale Center.

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Now here are my normal game notes, which are shorter than usual because I am not a creative writing major, so making anything interesting out of this game wasn't easy.

• I thought I knew UA sports pretty well until I realized I had never hearf of Joan Bonvicini, who's coached UA woman's basketball for the past 15! seasons.
• UA's Joy Hollingsworth would bounce back from her slump in the bay area games, where she shot a combined 2-of-22 for a total of seven points. Tonight she scored a career-high 31.
• The twirling squad apparently works the woman's games. They perform a slow-paced routine to Game and 50 Cent's "How we do" which was a somewhre between uncomfortable and comical to watch.
• A woman in the crowd is wearing a pink Cardinals Larry Fitzgerald jersey with faux-bling on the 11. Respect...I think.
• The UA band plays Paul Simon's "You can call me Al," which is by far my favorite music video to ever feature Chevy Chase.
• UA's Amina Njonkou always wears a long-sleeve shirt underneath her jersey, which I guess is an effort to up-stage the arm-sleeve made famous by AI.
  
• Washington's Stefanie Clark fires up a 3-pointer which barely grazes the bottom of the net. If I didn't know where I was I'd assume this was a YMCA youth league game.
• Washington's star, Cameo Hicks hits back to back threes to put the Huskies up 14-7 early on.
• 14:20 UA's Rhaya Neabors, who has an injured twin sister on the team, Rheya, airballs a jumper from about 6 feet out.
• 6'6'' UA's Suzy Bofia is the tallest player on the court by a good four inches, yet she plays like she covered her hands in grease before the game and is physically unable to grab a rebound.
• Suzy Bofia also has a twin, 6'7'' Beatrice, who is out with an injury. I'm pretty sure Beatrice is the woman who attempted to participate in the slam dunk contest during this season's McKale Madness and almost killed herself in the effort. If video of her ever biffing a two-handed dunk ever makes its way to the Internet I'll get rid of my DVD collection and cable and solely watch loops of her failed attempt.
• 5:30 UA's Jessica Arnold brings the ball up the court, calls a play, ignores all her teammates, and misses a disgusting lay-up.
• Washington's Emily Florence hits a deep three to put Washington up 29-22.
• Halftime: 41-33, Washington
• Both teams have nine turnovers
• Washington has four fast break points to UA's zero.
• 16:55 Florence rips Njonkou and hits a three to put Washington up 48-37.
• Final 81-62. I try to like it, but woman's basketball is way too boring, I think counting sheep would have been more entertaining.
  

Sneaker Watch: Malia O'Neal wears some UA colored Huarache 2k5's with "Polkey" embroidered across the strap...An injured Ashley Whisonant Zoom Lebron IV...Some injured white UA player Jordan XI.

Videos of the week: An ode to Gil and Ecuador

In effort to make my blog blend in with the 342 trillion other blogs on the internet I am going to start posting YouTube videos which I find worthy of my bandwith. I will try to make this a semi-regular post, although my goal to post and analyze a bullshit rap video each week has not quite worked out so well (That post now has the video posted directly on it, surrouned by words that don't make much sense due to my lack of html skills).

1.

Dagger!

Gilbert Arenas' buzzer-beater against the Bucks. Ridiculous range. Ridiculous confidence. Ridiculous walk-away post shot. Gilbert may be the most covered man in basketball right now, due largely in part to his personality. Although it doesn't hurt that he's third in the league in scoring, right behind Melo (who's still suspended from his slap/punch) and AI. About 20 pop-up a day, but these are my favorite Gilbert sites on the web.
Gilbertology.net By far the best Gilbert site on the web, anything Gilbert related makes it way here and quickly at that. Great links, great lay-out, and frequently updated.
The D.C. Sports Bog A site I'm kind of new to, but follows the Wizards closely and of course covers anything Gilbert as well. While I was reading their site I saw this link which basically did what I was attempting to do except much better.
Gilbert's blog Gilbert's very own NBA.com blog, which is updated rather frequently for an NBA superstar. The blog lives up to what would be expected out of Gilbert, pretty funny with some random NBA musing.
Gilbert's MySpace Gangsta because it's titled "Black President." Even more gangsta because it has pictures of his daughter right above pictures of his "secret service," which is comprised of roughly 50 hoes/strippers/classy individuals.

2.

This video pretty much speaks for itself. It's possibly my favorite thing on YouTube right now. I wouldn't even know where to begin if I wanted to write about this. God bless Ecuador.

Madness

I'm trying to take my blog to the next level. Unfortunately being html retarded is hurting me pretty badly. I just figured out how to post YouTube links directly on to my blog, but I am having a real tough time surrounding the videos with a normal blog. Once I get a solid grip on html I plan on having much more media on this site as well as a illustrated banner to add some style to this mediocre substance. By the end of 2007 this site will be much, much different.