justin adler, blog, buenos aires, bahia blanca, university of arizona, brooklyn, basketball, travel, paul mcpherson

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Bloggin' D's

Few things piss me off more than when people who don't listen to hip-hop hate on rap music. Mainly because it's incredibly hard to defend a genre that buries itself so many times. How the hell can anyone defend half of the hip-hop world. It is insane and completely ridiculous at times, but that's the same reason I love it. I'd like to now make no sense out of everything I just said and describe the greatness of watching bullshit rap videos and mocking hip-hop myself. Bullshit rap videos always bring a smile to my face because I know the director made the video with a checklist in-hand reading: rims, bitches, grillin the camera, stacks of money, Cadillacs, shots of your projects, guns, drugs, liquor. It's great that a new rapper will think he can rise to the top by doing something that has been done 23,901,234 times before. I would love to hear the logic behind making one of these videos. I guess they could use the ol' "it worked for him." It's beautiful that as long as there is rap music there will be some dude trying to come up by using the same format that's been done countless times before. That being said my bullshit rap video of the week goes to Rich Boy (a great original, rap name) and Polow da Don's (which I will name at least one of my kids because this name is that great) video for Throw Some D's.
This video is epic in so many ways, that I would like to break down a few. I'm sure people have their own interpretations of this deep video the same way you could interpret any great piece of art.

You can watch the video

because youtube is against throwing d's on blogs.
  • The very start of the video shows a red Cadillac riding through the hood, a subtle foreshadowing of the theme of the video. Don't think I didn't catch that bullshit rap video director.
  • Walking out of the house grabbing two stacks of scrilla because you never know when you are gonna need that much cash, essential to any rap video. (side note: if any rapper ever said, "I got stacks of scrilla taller than Brad Miller," I would forever hold that rapper to be the best lyricist of all time.
  • Jumping straight into a hook that sounds chopped and screwed but really is just one of the worst worded rap hooks of all time. Genius. The hook which I had to look up:
    "Rich Boy sellin' crack dope niggas wanna jack shit tight no slack just bought a Cadillac THROW SOME D's ON THAT BITCH!"
  • Rapping in a field in front of a rented car, never seen that before.
  • Rapping while having cars drive sideways down the street, still never seen anything like that.
  • "Candy paint gator skinned seats/ call me Dundee" classic line
  • "Haters wish they could feel the wood in my '83/ Riding with no tint so the mothafuckas know it's me" classic line #2. Rich Boy I feel ya on that one, my 99 Altima don't got no tint neither.
  • Rapping on top of a house with a crowd below you, more originality.
  • Polow da Don spits his 16 with white hoes on his lap. Rap video affirmative action at its finest.
  • Polow's verse about getting hoes' numbers and not calling them. Genius again, basically every verse in this classic and easy to relate to for anyone who has ever wanted to throw d's on their Cadillac.
  • Who says this song is shallow, with this verse I feel Polow is trying express his plan to stop the war in Iraq and end global hunger with one fell swoop: "Every freak should have a picture of my dick on they walls"
  • Bullshit rap video cliché #419: Spitting rhymes while driving your Cadillac with your three boys in the back tossing their hands up.
  • Getting a haircut and rapping, unprecedented.
  • Rich Boy breaking away from the trendy Yves Saint Laurent/Luis Vuitton sunglasses and going with the 1992 Terminator 2 Schwarzenegger shades is only creative thing in the whole video.
Bullshit rap video scale:
Rims: 5/5
Bitches: 2/5
Grillin the camera: 4/5
Stacks of money: 1/5
Cadillacs: 6/5
Shots of your projects: 5/5
Guns: 0/5
Drugs: 0/5
Liquor 1/5
Total Score: 24/45
Hmm. I thought this was a classic bullshit rap video, but according to the official Where's P-Mac scale for bullshit rap videos, this barely cracks a 50%. Maybe he made the video aiming for 24 points because thats his favorite size of dubs on his Cadillac. One would think with the depth of creativity that went into this video he could have somehow worked in some guns and drugs. Drugs and guns are both essential to not only making a great rap video but also putting your people in a better situation just like throwing d's on a Cadillac does.

This video is obviously classic on so many levels. I never knew Polow da Don was such a big name until I read he has worked with Jamie Foxx, The Pussycat Dolls, Fergie, Ludacris and others, although I got this from Wikipedia, so it's possibly Polow could have wrote that himself. Easily the greatest thing about Polow is the fact that he dropped out of Morehouse College after his first semester "to pursue his aspirations to be a rapper with the group Jim Crow." I gotta wonder how many people drop out of Morehouse to pursue rapping/producing careers.
Phonte from the group Little Brother had his own take on this song in his blog where he brings up that Throwing D's can fit any situation:
" "My computer just froze up."

"The baby's crying."

"The Dems took the house."

For those of you thinking, "Well this blog was fairly amusing, but really I just came here hoping for a link to a chopped and screwed version of Throw some D's." Here you have it