Thanks for nothing

Today was Senior Day which is basically like when an award show honors Two-and-a-half Men, why the fuck should we honor something that's at best mediocre and usually just sucks. Staf, I won't miss you and Ivan, I'm going to try to make one of those cool Men-in-Black memory eraser devices in an attempt to forget I ever had to watch you. Jerryd Bayless can't put on a Cats uniform soon enough for me. Here are the notes from the final home game of the 2007 season. For the record: the USC notes didn't happen because Antione Cason forced me stop the blogging presses. I apologize.

• 18:35 UCLA jump ahead 6-0 in a contest where both teams are wearing their away jerseys. Lute can't take it and calls a timeout to confirm Radenovic' is a real human and not just a hologram that players can drive through and rebound over.
• Whoever creates the "Zona Screw," the Zona Zoo's flier consisting of analysis and chants for the game, needs to note how I just wrote "their away jerseys." I don't know how you can make it to college and still write, "Arizona looks to swing momentum back to there side on senior day." Come on now.
• 16:48 Radenovic' misses his first lay-up of the game. I underestimated ol' Ivan, I would have taken the under on him missing a lay-up in the first three minutes of the game.
• 12:10 Darren Collison buries his second straight 3-pointer to put the Bruins up 23-11.
• Wilbur who came out in the game with some retarded, cheap UA shorts found his authentic joints and is now proudly cheering on Zona. He's also sporting a new #7 for the second game in a row.
• 10:08 Shakur is not disgracing himself on Senior Day. He wets two 3-pointers in a row to bring the Cats within six, 17-23.
• 8:46 Jordan Hill, who needs a gangsta nickname badly, has an emphatic two-handed dunk to make it 23 all.
• 6:38 Darren Collison finds Lorenzo Mata for an alley-oop to put UCLA back up seven, 30-23.
• Richard Jefferson, Luke Walton and Channing Frye make what I assume to be a little detour to see the Cats play before heading up to Vegas to take part in all the debauchery that is NBA All-Star Weekend. If I were in their shoes, well one, I'd be pissed because Luke wears L.A. Gears, but I'd bring a suitcase full of one million dollars, straight cash homey. Then I would just see how much fun I could have blowing it all in one night. That'd probably make for a sick blog post.
• 5:33 Staf drives to the paint and does...well what Staf does every fucking time. This time Darren Collison is called for the foul, but the point of the story is that Staf re-injures his right ankle, which has been bothering him for two weeks now.
• Enter Nic Wise, who checks into the game sans his cape headband.
• The dude behind me is proudly holding a sign that reads, "Tim Hardaway for President." I have no clue why he made this sign, granted it's funny as hell, but germane to absolutely nothing at the game. I would rather have Tim Hardaway as president, not because of the war in Iraq, knocking down the towers, or anything else college kids/Jadakiss loves to hate Bush for, but simply because Hardaway's "killer cross-over" was that sick.
  
• 2:48 After doing nothing and looking like a complete G while doing it, Nic is taken out of the game for Daniel Dillon.
• 1:42 I have no idea why, but Jawann does not check into the game until this point. What the hell is going on Lute.
• Marcus Williams gets an open lay-up as the buzzer sounds.
  
• Somehow the Cats are only down one at the half, 35-34.
• The greatest halftime event of all time happens when my friend Craig wins a Zona'd-out Vespa. I looked every where on the Internet and couldn't find a picture of it. Picture candy-apple red paint with huge UA logos all over it. And it's a fucking Vespa! I'll get some pictures and post them soon enough.
  
• Things to officially note about Craig:
  
• 1. He is a loyal bears fan.
• 2. He has been to almost every Cats game and has not removed one game-day wristband from his arm. Ever.
• 3. He skipped our 4:30 English class on Thursday to get in line for the 8:30 USC game.
• Feel free to make your own lame caption, that would have still not been funny a few years ago, about this picture of Staf getting his Justin Timberlake on.
• As I walk around the McKale Center in my Steve Kerr Chicago Bulls jersey a man selling Eegees icees tells me that he has the same jersey and jokes that I stole his. I actually saw the three-toothed man laying in a campus park while wearing the jersey. I assumed he was a g'd-up bum, although the line between bum and Eegees vendor is very, very gray.
• 15:16 Josh Shipp sneaks back door and finishes a sick alley-oop from Arron Afflalo. 47-40, UCLA.
• 13:15 I have no real evidence to back this up but I'm pretty sure Marcus Williams never makes his free-throw attempt on and-1s. It's weird that the leading scorer and a man who is deadly from the elbow cannot hit a free throw. The Cats are within four, 46-50.
• 7:03 Darren Collison sinks a 3 with a second on the shot clock. 60-50, UCLA.
• 5:43 With the Cats down 12 Chase hits a three and gets fouled in the act. He hits the free throw, 56-64, UCLA.
• 3:35 Michael Roll hits another 3 for UCLA as the shot clock expires. Lute goes insane as the Bruins continue to pull away, 61-74.
• I hope somebody from Staf's family got a picture of Staf in his final game at McKale as he stood at the line with 2:15 on the clock. It be as godly as Mike's 6.6-second picture, but if I'm from Philly and playing in my last home game, that's a pretty cool pic.
• The Cats lose 81-66 and drop to 17-9, 8-7 on the season.
  
• The seniors are honored post game. My friend and I are the only ones booing Radenovic' who finished the game with a stellar 4 points and 3 boards, the final two boards coming in the last 1:30 of the game.
  
• I will give it up to Staf for having a solid game, 17 points, 6 dimes, 4 boards, and only 2 turnovers.
  
• Props to Darren Collison who dropped 17 and had a career-high 15 dimes to go with it.

Nic Wise Moment of the Game: When Chase Budinger hit a huge 3-pointer and was fouled in front of his own bench, everyone hopped off the bench to pick him up and give him a few high-fives. Everyone except Nic Wise. Why the fuck would Nic get off the bench to congratulate him, Nic could have done that himself. Easily. In fact, I'm sure Nic could have done it much better and probably got at least 5 points out of it.

Sneaker Watch: Mustafa Shakur finished his McKale Center career in the black/red Zoom LeBron IV...Ivan Radenovic' failed miserably in some white/red Air Force 25s...JawannMcClellen white/red Air Force 90...Daniel Dillon black/red Air Force 90...Jordan Hill black/Carolina blue Jordan Melo 5.5...Josh Shipp and Russell Westbrook white/royal blue Adidas Gil Zero Mid...Luc Richard Mbah a Moute royal blue Adidas Pro Model S...Marcus Williams wore some the same all-black Nikes that I may never be able to figure out.

On a random note, why the hell is Britney Spears rocking a Fila hoody?