And put Benny Boom on it

There have been a few frustrating things about getting my NYC life in order, but I believe in the no-whining-on-blogs Jay Rochlin philosophy, so you'll never read about it here.

However I was extremely frustrated and disappointed with myself when I learned that Mos Def and Dr. Turk had a movie coming out on May 8th that I did not know about until yesterday.

It's basically like Oceans 11 - Vegas + Philly - 11 + Mos Def, Dr. Turk, Wood Harris and that one Epps who is not in House. And instead of an elaborate heist where they steal millions of dollars from a fancy casino, a misdelivered box full of cocaine ends up in their run-down apartment. So it's actually nothing like Oceans 11 at all.

But it does have Benny Boom making his feature-length directorial debut. If you're like me your thinking, "Whoa! The same Benny Boom who put together clips of Ashanti rubbing herself on a bed with footage of Shyne locked behind bars in the 'Jimmy Choo' music video?! No way it can be the same Benny Boom who also made the 'Touch it (remix)' video as well! I must have watched that video every time I scrilled during sophomore year."

Then you probably texted three of your friends trying to figure out which rapper says, "Kidnap T.D. Lewis and put Benny Boom on it" and sat there in disgust as all your friends failed you. (Revision: The line is actually "kidnap T. Lewis and Jimmy Jam on it" by Erick Sermon on Xzibit's 'Alkaholic.' This came to me just before I fell asleep. Thank you Allah.)

Well yes it is the same Benny Boom. And if Benny's first film is half as ridiculous as Hype Williams' 96-minute music video of a movie, then we are all in for a treat.

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• Another challenge of life is not blowing all my money on FreeDarko shirts. However as somebody who has spent countless hours Photoshopping basketball players on to milk cartons, I feel compelled to buy this.

• Even though it is not half as hard as this shirt.

• More concerning than UA's plot to get rid of the beloved cactus is the University's plan to replace the Lute and Bobbi Olson center-court emblem with a huge picture of Russ Pennell's head.

• On the topic of Russ Pennell, my friend Tarny and I had this conversation today:

Me: I hope they Sean Miller resigns two weeks in and they bring back Rusty P Coldchain

My god why did I not think of that nickname last year

Tarny: cuz coldchain is the worst rapper ever and ruined what should be my favorite song of all time clipse + jada + SP + crazy island drums - refrain = pure bliss

• Tucson still makes me proud though.

• I have been reluctant to get into Friday Night Lights even though every one of my friends says it's the greatest show ever. I guess I am just afraid of wasting/enjoying several hours of my life that I could valuably use to research Benny Boom music videos. But I may have to finally cave into FNL after my friend Gouldini poured his heart out in this FNL recap e-mail to my friend.

I'm lost in the fnl world right now. I know you said you need to re-watch the episode so you can discuss it better but just a little food for thought.

What am i supposed to do, just forget dillon and start rootin for the east dillon lions? I have so much panther pride but im hurt right now. I mean I'll follow eric taylor into the dark and if he is going to resurrect east dillon ill do it right there with him but im lost in that world. Am i going to feel happiness and pride when east dillon fucks up jd/wade next year? Is it going to be bitter sweet like watching o-dog go deep against the backs a few games ago?

What would Smash say about this? Nobody loved the panthers more, i mean sure he was incredibly infatuated with himself, but he did turn down voodoo and arnette meads request to cross lines, he was truly panthers forever. Will east dillon have clear eyes and full hearts cause if so i know how they will fair...

Riggins,
I kinda love the idea of him going to college and actually making something of himself but i couldnt bear him not being on the show.

Matty ice,
i mean who in their right mind leaves julie taylor??? Not for all the art and deep dish pizza's in the entire world. Good move ice, good move.

Tyra,
At this point im completely over her character, Ill miss landry a lot, he was a brilliant actor, but tyra glad you got into UT, now get the fuck out. On a slightly unrelated but quite related note, she looked amazing in the finale. If thats her swan song, it was a good one.

Thats all i got. Im lost

• Finally I along with every human who breathes oxygen and is intrigued by pirates, navy seals and sniper rifles followed the Somali pirates v. USA story pretty closely. I just never understood how it was reported. How the hell did these journalists get so much information about a ship being held captive in the middle of the ocean. Especially when it was reported that the captain tried to swim away from his captors, but was quickly recaptured.

Is there a Somali pirate public relations person who writes press releases about what the hell is going on. If so, how the hell can I get that job? I really wish the pirates were more creative with their stories, for instance instead of telling the media, "The captain tried to swim away, but he failed," it would have been better if they told the world something along the lines of, "The captain offered to dome us all up, he's pretty gay." Just so when he did return to the States, his family and wife, everyone would be happy he got back safe, but more concerned that he offered to pleasure a bunch of Somali pirates.

I'm just saying Somali PR people, this is the type of press release gold I could draft up. Even if I am the only one who finds it funny.