Circ Training

“Are you a professional circus performer?” asked the receptionist of La Central del Circ.

“No,” I responded, just before I died a little bit inside.

I never thought I wanted to be a circus performer, but that was until I discovered Barcelona’s circus performer training center tucked in El Parc del Forum. It was there that my eyes were opened to a world where people swing from giant hula hoops suspended 30 feet in the air, or dangle themselves from giant ropes over foam pits that I thought only existed in Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory.

I grabbed every brochure available at La Central, then made a resolve (that I’ll probably not keep) to one day try out the guest pass that the kind receptionist told me was available to circus pros as well as mortals.

I left the building astounded and terribly frustrated that I was not a part of this not-so secret society. Everyone there was so happy. It’s the only part of Barcelona where nobody locks their bikes because circus performers don’t steal from one another and it would be stupid to try to steal a member's bike because you can’t escape from somebody on stilts.

I began venting my frustration toward Sarah, who wears the oversized-inseam pants that are popular here. I resorted back to middle-school derogatory terms and called her a poser for dressing like the hippie performers despite her inability to balance herself on one arm.

Then I channeled my anger into a massive hamster wheel that sits just outside La Central. More so than the shitty education, I’m upset that the US school system didn’t provide every school with a human-sized hamster wheel.

But wait El Parc del Forum tiene mas!!! I’m yet to visit the park on a weekend or in season, but every time I go, I'm blown away.

It has a ridiculously big urban obstacle course.

A faux-halfpipe that stretches for a mile.

That really impressive solar panel pictured in the top of this post.

A zipline that pulls wakeboarders. If I don't become a circus performer (something that has 100% chance of happening), I'd be happy to be the guy who sits on the water all day, listening to rap music, while controlling the zipline. His job seemed really nice.

An overpriced ride that involves rolling down a hill in an inflatable ball.

My friend here told me the whole park was built for an art installation that featured a four-story-tall robot, but Google and Wikipedia can’t back this claim up (however there is good stuff in here). I’m also a little weary because if Spain ever got their hands on Robosaurus technology, I’m pretty sure it would have been a big story in the States.