People I Will Miss

Sure there's a lot of friends and Pakistani shop owners that I'll miss when I leave Barcelona. But here's a few people that I also don't want to ever forget about.

• The old guy at the gym
A few times a week I go to the "gym" at the beach. I quarter-to-half-ass work out, almost never count how many reps I do and spend as much time stretching as I do working out. But it's all just a damn good excuse to go sit on the beach for an hour a day and take in 360 degrees of beauty.

If I go early enough there's one guy who make me look fit, the 80-year-old, pot-bellied yayo (that's catalan for grandpa, and yes I count him in the 360 degrees of beauty).

Every day he shows up wearing a speedo, un-buttoned button up, clear plastic sandals, and, if I'm lucky, a Gilligan hat. He spends most the time bullshitting with other old guys who sit around and he spends 5 minutes wildly swinging his arms around.

If I'm really, really lucky I'll get to see him play tennis with another old guy. They don't use a net or any sort of boundaries. They just hit the ball back and forth at a very, very slow speed. Each time they hit it they make the pro-tennis player UGHHGHGHGH grunt though. God bless them.

• The fake Terry Crews at the gym 
He looks like Terry Crews except I'm pretty sure this guy might be more ripped. If he ever fought the real Terry Crews it would go down in history as the greatest fight since Vin Diesel v. The Rock. Unlike  my routine, this guy works in hyper drive. He shows up, somehow rips his shirt off while not taking off his reflective aviator shades, and jumps from one exercise to the other. I've seen him do a weird push-up walk/worm thing for 50 meters across a scalding hot concrete then finish it with 40 push-ups before going straight to pull-ups.

• The weird fisher person
She/he walks around the beach year-round in nothing more than a speedo. I think it's a woman, but I'm not 100% positive. She's either anorexic, bulimic, on heroine or all three. She has a really faded tattoo on her shoulder blade and closely-trimmed hair. I'm fairly certain she sleeps on the beach. The only possessions I've ever seen her with are: a snorkel, flippers, a knife the she keeps strapped on the side of her shin, which I believe she uses to fish and/or murder mermaids.