justin adler, blog, buenos aires, bahia blanca, university of arizona, brooklyn, basketball, travel, paul mcpherson

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Declared Hiatus


This blog has gone on many unofficial hiatuses in the past, but I am now declaring wherespmac indefinitely suspended, but not the fun kind that involves guns, felonies and over $90 million dollars being lost.

This is just the hiatus that comes from working and going out too much and being too lazy to write about. Maybe one day I'll reach an age where I'll re-read this blog and regret not writing about what happened when I was 23-years-old, but I have never been bored enough now in life where I've wanted to re-read old Justin Adler silliness, so hopefully I won't get that bored in the future.

I promise that if I ever do anything as exciting as move out of the United States again, you'll read all about it here, but in the mean time just assume I am doing awesome things and living a life much cooler than yourself, except for you Jay Rochlin, I've always thought that your day-to-day life is much cooler than my own.

Here are a few anecdotes that you may enjoy reading and I potentially might enjoy remembering in the future.

I went to Monkey Town on Friday for a Last Chance Dance Party. Monkey Town is/was one of my favorite spots in New York. It's a nice bar/restaurant/theater that has a room with four nice couches where you can watch movies projected on all four walls. Here is a picture of it. I went there once before for a short films movie night. It was amazing. I went there on Friday for a final dance party before it close its doors for good (landlord issues).

The DJ was good. The dancing was good. My close group of friends were good. But my favorite part was watching a girl in the corner who at one point was unconscious with her friends gathered around her trying to revive her. Then seeing her awake and blowing cocaine off her friends hand two minutes after she regained consciousness. She was great.

If Monkey Town ever reopens at another location I hope that girl is still alive because she really made the party for me.

I slightly alluded to Gilbert earlier, but as a blog that was once loosely dedicated to Agent Zero, I should probably write a few words about him and his recent controversy.

I think if anything the whole gun thing makes me like him exponentially more.

After Gilbert was officially suspended I wrote this e-mail to my friend, who was unaware of Gilbert's greatness.
He went to Arizona.
His rookie year, he was not doing well in the first half so he showered at half time in his full uniform and entered the game in the second half soaking wet.
He sponsored a professional Halo team.
He won sports blogger of the year and was the first athlete to have a hugely popular blog.
He started referring to himself as the Hibachi and only talked in the third person.
He would shoot game winning three pointers and turn around, not even watching them go in.
He once said 'I am an assassin and assassins don't have a conscious."
After a game winner he told the press "My swag was phenomenal."
He ripped off jersey and threw it in the crowd after every game
He altered his house in DC so the air was thinner, like in high altitude air, which helped him train.
He let rookies sleep at his house for their first season in the league.
He turned half his mansion into a paintball arena.
He fired his agent, became his own agent and negotiated a 110 million dollar deal.
After signing the contract he almost immediately tore his ACL and has been out for the past two years.
Because of his recent gun charge, if convicted of a felony, his contract will be void and he'll lose $90 million dollars.
The whole gun thing was over a 25k gambling debt to a shitty teammate, keep in mind that 25k to Gilbert, who was set to make just over $16 million this season, is the equivalent of $77 to someone who makes $50k a year.
He acted like he did not give a fuck and he Twittered a million jokes about the incident.
Before his last game he he fake shot all his teammates in pregame warm ups, further mocking the situation.
He was indefinitely suspended today, now I am sad.
That was all just off the top of my head, except for the numbers part, which Lang Whitaker broke down. Lang also had a good, serious piece on Gil's current situation.

The main point of the story is that when I reach Gilbert's age if I haven't voided a $110 million dollar deal over a gun charge then I have failed. Gilbert is currently 28, I'm 23 and make less then one-sixth of what Gilbert made per game with the Wizards. I have some work to do.

I printed the picture of Gilbert shooting his teammates in pregame warm-ups and it now sits proudly on my desk wall at work as a reminder not to take anything too seriously. I also have a Knicks season schedule on my wall at work to remind me the same thing.

Story remitted, may one day reappear.

I went to NYC's SantaCon this year as well. There is not really much to say about it, but it was amazing. If there is ever a SantaCon in your neck of the woods, you should definitely go.

The same day as SantaCon I went to see JB Smoove (Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm) perform at Comix. I was tired from drinking all day at SantaCon and from my birthday the night before so I accidentally fell asleep in the theater. Then I woke up and I'm pretty sure JB was making fun of me.

The other day at work I spoke to about 20 kids from some sports-business organization from Indiana University. It was one of the silliest experiences of my life as I talked to 20 kids who were a year or three younger than myself about my job. They all took crazy notes about everything I said. It was truly bizarre. After the meeting they all came up and shook my hand and begged me for an internship, an internship that I was supposed to have three months ago.

They all acted quite gay. Two of them complimented my sneakers. The best part was that after the meeting my boss gave away his books to kids who could answer the following questions.

Who is the worst Knicks general manager ever? Answer: Isiah Thomas, an Indiana grad.
Who is the worst current New York Knick? Answer: Jarred Jeffries, also went to Indiana.

It was brilliant diss to the proud Indiana kids. One of the kids made a snide comment Jordan Hill after we dissed Jeffries. I immediately responded that Jordan Hill will one day be a first-ballot Hall of Famer because I was in a position of power and I could say anything I wanted and that was just about the dumbest thing I could think of.

If you like basketball, you should read Chris Ballard's new book. I wrote an article about it here. If you're a hoops junkie, it's a must-read.

For future reference the commenting on this site is now slightly moderated, just because I was getting a ton of spam comments on older posts. Please don't worry, I'll make sure to allow all witty, hateful posts from the few of you who have constantly amused me with your silly quips in the comment section.

WPM will be back one day, in the mean time I would like to recommend the following blogs:

Gould's Cardinals Blog - Basically only for die-hard fans of the Cardinals or Gould.

Leia Ting's "Not Margie Mead" - My friend Leia's blog she started while she lives in Costa Rica for a year. Well written. It's a nicely-named blog. It's pretty interesting and Leia's a good person. Check it out.

Finally, Paul McPherson. I really have no idea where you are. Your coach of two weeks in Argentina, gave me your agents name. After reviewing his shitty website (now updated) I called the number on the front page, which oddly was his cell phone number. He told me he wasn't really your agent, just a friend who helped you out. He was pretty boring as well, too boring to run the interview on this blog. He was representing an up and coming rapper named Boo from Chicago. I liked that part of the interview. He said he had not talked to you in a while and had no idea what you were up to.

Anyways P-Mac if you're out there. My contact information is to the right. I would still love to hear from you.




14 comments:

Jay Rochlin said...

Justin, Say it ain't so. Now someone's going need to start a blog called "Where's 'Where's Paul McPherson?'" You've taken us on a fun ride. Thanks. Jay

TeamHorowitz said...

I'm glad I made the blog Justin- you asshole. Glad that my life amuses you so...although the Ray comment was funny.

TheTruth said...

Dont worry Jay, that happened after the first hiatus...

http://whereswherespmac.blogspot.com/

newcastle synonym championship champions said...

if brett favre wrote for this blog we'd see a new post in a week...

kidAlaura said...

repping gouldini's blog. love it. miss you j-man.

Dustin said...

Can I take credit for that ^ ?

Gould said...

oh, thats weird, I wasn't aware dustin was able to comment on blogs. I assumed it to be a technical glitch, so im glad he got that taken care of.

arsenal_putdown said...

i knew this whole girlfriend venture would somehow negatively impact my life...

which is to say reading this blog has improved my life. thanks for the chuckles jdogg

Mr. Owen Beit-Machine said...

I think Janiga (pronounced Juh-knee-gah) should start a blog. I think he's got some life lessons I'd like to hear about.

1st blog post said...

lesson number 1 - the chopper gunner is a better killstreak reward than the ac-130, as the explosive rounds will create splash damage reaching enemies hiding indoors.

my blog will be delivered by way of wpm comment threads.

tingle said...

I was about to write a desperate, scathing comment complaining about your abandonment as my blog mentor, but I saw the NMM plug and my rage has been quelled. I'll be back to read raptly whenever you start WPM again.
Loyally,
LT

old jeezy said...

^agreed.

t*na said...

i believe this to be a very accurate depiction of you as a JB Smoove audience member

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12PsUW-8ge4

Tsmith said...

Every Once and awhile I come back and hope the hiatus is over...It never is...