Yesterday I was sitting on the steps of the local high school enjoying my sandwich, the weather and Sunday when this conversation occurred:
"That sandwich looks damn good," a neighbor from the Williamsburg Houses said to me.
"It is damn good," I responded.
"I wish I could relax and eat a sandwich, but I gotta cook for my wife and kids."
"It ain't bad being single."
"Man, don't get me started. I just wanna hang wit the fellas, but I gotta do all this shit for my wife. I gotta do a lot of cooking today."
"Tell her happy Mother's Day for me."
"Man I can't even see my own mother, 'cause I gotta cook for my wife. Do not get wifed up. Don't rush it. Do. Not. Rush. It. Man, enjoy your time. You do you."
"You don't gotta worry about that. I'm a do me."
Doing me involved:
- Going to the BRKLN Designs exhibition.
- Eating a pinwheel and watching the Aaron Brooks show at Front Street Pizza.
- Then returning to the park to read a book and take a nap in the grass.
When all was said and done I hopped back on the subway and headed home. I somehow lucked into riding on the party train, where I watched as a bum mumbled at strangers while he drank his tallboy of Budweiser and smoked his cigarette (both of which are normally prohibited on the subway). While the bum did him, the two African-American gentlemen next to me talked about the Rockets game.
"Did you see the n*gga Aaron Brooks?! He was smashin on every n*gga out there! Just pulling up on n*ggas! My n*gga was killin' every n*gga out there!" he said as he re-enacted Brooks' moves on the subway (picture Kramer imitating Michael Jordan, except confined within the L train aisle). Their conversation then changed to a discussion on escalators, but somehow they were able to keep their one n*gga per four words quota. I was impressed.
The entire ride had the background music of the girl next to me who was listening to Whitney Houston so loud on her iPod that I could hear every line to "I wanna dance with somebody."
Gould: "Is there anything better than watching Tracy McGrady pseudo-excitement on the bench?"
Me: "Yes, the guy in the Toyota Center who turned his #1 T-Mac jersey into a #13 Von Wafer jersey."
Gould: "Jesus. I hope T-Mac saw that."
(I really hope most people can appreciate how brilliant that fan's jersey conversion is.)
Me: "How great is the Mark Cuban/Kenyon Martin's mom beef? I haven't even seen K-Mart's mom, but I am sure she is amazing."
Gould: "Without having any knowledge about Kenyon's mom, I'd be willing to say she is one of the 10 greatest humans of all time."
Finally the quote of the weekend comes from my very weird Saturday night.
Me: (fairly inebriated, trying to hit on this female) "That's a cool purse."
Her: "Thanks, my 10-year-old son made it for me."
Me: (long pause) "Oh. (longer pause) He must be very artistic."