The following conversation took place while my cousin Brett rode the bus and sat near a homeless man decked out in a UA hat, a blue autographed Cats jersey and Cats basketball shorts. Also according to my cousin the bum had "more eyes than teeth."
H: Oh man, I'm so excited we got Williams, we've been trying to get here forever.
B: Who is Williams?
H: She's this great volleyball player, it took us forever to get her to sign on. Did you hear about Jameson?
B: No, who's that?
H: Oh he's this 4 star diver from
B: (Not wanting to look like a douche who knows nothing about sports) Did you see that big basketball recruit practice here last weekend?
H: Oh you mean Brandon Jennings?
H: Oh my God! This is his autograph right here! (emphatically points to autograph on his jersey) I was at the practice until they kicked me out. I wasn't able to go to the open practice so I showed up to the next practice.
B: Wait, they kicked you out?
H: Yeah I couldn't make the open practice so I went into a later practice. As the cops were escorting me, I kept yelling for Brandon. He definitely wanted me to stay.
B: Wow, that's a hell of a story.
Welcome to Tucson Brandon. If you like going out in public, you might want to get used to being accosted by one-toothed bums.
If you have any ridiculous Wildcats sports stories, that can match or beat a homeless man bragging about a Brandon Jennings autograph, send them in to firstname.lastname@example.org. You won't get anything, but having "Where's P-Mac contributor" on your résumé will definitely impress any employer.