Zzzzzz

Mad short recap for a mad boring game:

Red/Blue game, Tucson's first chance to see the '08 squad since Lute shafted us out of the Midnight Madness. Remember this isn't even exhibition, this is an intrasquad scrimmage.

• I am pretty sure before every Red-Blue game Lute thinks to himself, "This city loves me, let's see how boring of a speech I can give and still get a standing ovation."
• Seeing Bayless in the #0 uni just doesn't look right.
• The UA warm-up long-sleeve shirts are a shiny red, reminiscent of the satin baseball jackets really coked-out players would wear in the '80s.
• Every year I hope a UA freshman is going embrace their inner Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf and refuse to stand during the national anthem in their first collegiate game, just to stir things up a little. Every year I am disappointed.
• I didn't stay for the second half, but according to various WPM correspondents it was "very uneventful and mad boring."
• Jerryd Bayless had 26, mainly in the second half.
  
• Final score: 76-63, Blue. Seriously nothing happened in this game. I would hate to be an actual journalist and have to report on this.
  

Nic Wise Moment of the Game: Nic Wise thrives in the games that don't count. In an exhibition game last year he went 8-8 before burning himself out for the rest of the season. Tonight he dropped 13, including 3 treys, all in the first half, knowing that I wasn't watching the second half, so there really was no point to do anything special.

Random:
Please God.

I may have been wrong, well at least until the end of October.

I'm sure nobody witnessed it, but the women's team got blown out in their Red/Blue game by their male practice players. These aren't players from the men's team, just random dudes who play in the rec and are chosen to help the women practice. They beat a full-strength women's D1 squad 73-41.

New Cam'ron garbage single, saved by the verse:
"I picked up my intern, Andrea/
I keep her low like Bob Perry, so I pay her/
When I fuck her like Marbury, Isiah"

There is no link here, I just wanted to thank Ted Turner for another year of the NBA on TNT.

Where's P-Mac's

Since the college basketball preseason starts a week from today. Here is the WPM heavily-biased Pac-10 Preview. The teams are ranked in order, followed by their overall records and Pac-10 records from last season .

1. UCLA 30-6 (15-3)
Let's be honest, nobody is fucking with UCLA this year. The team is returning four starters from a team that made it to the final four, where they lost to eventual champion Florida. The returning class is highlighted by the Pac-10's best point guard, Darren Collison, who led the Pac-10 in steals and in three-point field goal percentage last year.

The scary part is that the Bruins are gaining two of the best freshman in the nation. Kevin Love won pretty much every top award in the nation, while averaging 33.9 points, 17.0 rebounds, 4.2 blocks and 4.0 assists per game last year at Lake Oswego (Oregon) HS. He was considered by many to be the top of his class, but I will always hate him for not staying local and going to Oregon.

Love is accompanied by fellow-freshman Chace Stanback, a two-time Division I state championship winner from Fairfax (Los Angeles) HS, led the Lions to a 28-5 mark last year. He averaged 25.8 points and 11.9 rebounds per game in his senior season.
On paper, I really don't see how anybody can beat UCLA.

2. Oregon 29-8 (11-7)
It may be wildly WPMish to put Oregon this high, it may not be. It all depends on how well the Ducks do in compensating for Aaron Brooks departure to the NBA. The Ducks, who made it to the Sweet 16 before being bounced by Florida return four starters, four of their top five scorers, four players who shot better than 40 percent from three-point range and four who averaged double figures. That's not a bad start. The big question is can Tajuan Porter play the point? The 5'6" Porter will have to prove he can hit an open man and run the offense as easily as he can hit an off-balance three from 35 feet.

Will Malik Hairston finally reach the hype he had coming out of high school? Will Tajuan Porter continue improving at a retarded rate? Can the rest of the squad please play like they did in the Pac-10 Tourney and blow teams out while shooting above 50 percent? God I hope so.

It's completely irrelevant to the basketball preview, but the fact that Oregon quarterback Dennis Dixon is only enrolled in a Billiards class at UO is simply amazing. Why fuck with school, when you can lead a top-five football team?

3. USC 25-12 (11-7)
O.J. Mayo. O.J. Mayo. O.J. Mayo. Hype. Hype. Hype.

At the end of the day it really depends on if O.J. Mayo is the everything the media and himself makes him out to be.

SC lost Nick Young, Gabe Pruitt and Lodrick Stewart — who combined to average 44 points last season — but I guess O.J. can just try and average 44 points himself.

Apparently there are more Dunleavys in the world as the Trojans have freshman walk-on James Dunleavy, a 6-8 guard and the son of Los Angeles Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy on the roster.

4. Arizona 20-11 (11-7)
First things first, I read in the paper this morning that freshman pg Jerryd Bayless will be wearing #0 this season, since his high school #32 is retired for Sean Elliott. Jerryd if you don't lead Arizona to a national championship game while being the biggest bad-ass/goofball UA has ever seen, I will forever hate you for tarnishing Gilbert Arenas' legendary jersey. Jerryd, how about you wear #00 and honor Polkey, just stay the fuck off of #0. This is worse than when whoever it was decided to rock #3 at Georgetown.

Back to the preview, after their second-consecutive shitty (by UA standards) season and getting bounced for the second-straight time in the opening weekend of the Tourney, the Cats theme this season is take it game-by-game. They no longer break huddles with "Atlanta" (the site of last year's championship game), now they break huddles with "Eh, how about we just try and win this one."

I'm most excited to see if Kevin O'Neil can get Chase Budinger to play defense. If that does happen, Chase at the very least, should give O'Neil his first three NBA paychecks. Kevin O'Neil sounds like a fucking madman according to this Daily Star article. Anybody who Jordan Hill describes as a "nut case" is pretty gully in my eyes.

Bayless will be forced to try to redeem the good name of Point Guard U, which Mustafa Shakur treated as a 4-year technical institute for underachieving. It changes according to every new article but it's believed that Bayless will run the 1, while the official player of Where's P-Mac, Nic Wise plays the 2.

Key losses for the Cats: Hmm, I can't think of any.

Key gains: The aforementioned Bayless; bigman Alex Jacobsen, who may or may not red shirt; potential-sleeper and great defender pg Laval Lucas-Perry; bench warmer Zane Johnson.

The Wildcats have lost more weight than Jay in '88 this off-season. Nic Wise went from 195 to 175 and hopes to see a quickness he probably hasn't seen since middle school. Jawann McClellen dropped 10 pounds, down to 204, which will hopefully help his 80-year-old knees.

Interesting off-season note: Mohamed Tangara played three games in the African championships over the summer, then returned to campus because Mali wasn't going to be a factor in the championship, anyway (USA Today).

In a fight for token-goofy white guy, who will never see a minute of PT, newcomer Lucas Spencer knocked out former title holder David Bagga. Spencer won the bout by playing the "I went to a Catholic high school in Yuma, Arizona" card as well as the "I'm 6'5" 187 lbs" card. Lucas, best of luck in the classroom and make sure to keep the team G.P.A. high.

5. Washington State 26-8 (13-5)
Expected to be as shitty as Pullman, the Cougars came out of no where and surprised a lot of people last year, finishing in the top of the Pac-10. Like almost every other team in the Pac-10, they're returning four starters, including seniors Derrick Low and Kyle Weaver. I really don't know a whole lot else about WSU, except that their coach's name is Tony Bennett, but not this Tony Bennett. Also they wear Russell Athletic jerseys, which hurts them dramatically in WPM power rankings.

6. Stanford 18-13 (10-8)
Twin big-men Brook and Robin Lopez are beasts. Unfortunately Brook, who was already academically ineligible for at least the first nine games, is now suspended indefinitely for the ever-ambiguous "breaking team rules." The team will also be hosting in-season try-outs for the point guard slot as Anthony Goods will be moved to the shooting guard. If Stanford can get their shit together, they could be a dangerous team, most likely they wont and they'll get a few upsets, while lingering in Pac-10 mediocrity.

7. California 16-17 (6-12)
What do I know about Cal? Well they've got a couple of big guys, they're a Jordan Brand sponsored team and their head coach frequently played tennis at my former job. They really have no big names. They have no proven point guard. According to other previews, everyone on their team is either hurt or coming back from an injury and this is before the season has even started. This squad is probably going to suck. I'm only ranking them this high because I hate the other teams in the conference.

8. Washington 19-13 (8-10)
Again four starters back. Hardcore-conservative blogger/center Spencer Hawes (R) is gone to the NBA. Among the starters is Pac-10 leading douchebag Ryan Appleby, so I really don't even have to say much more. I hate this team. I wish them the worst.

9. Oregon State 11-21 (3-15)
Don't really care about them. They sucked last year. They will suck this year. Let's just move on to ASU.

10. Arizona State 8-22 (2-16)
I may be the most disloyal Wildcats fan on campus, but I still hate ASU. How much do I hate ASU? I hate Pat Tillman solely because he went to ASU, so I'd say I hate ASU a lot.

They are somewhat of a team on the come-up despite losing their first 14 Pac-10 games, although nine of the games were decided by six points of less. They return five of their top six scorers and they only have two players with more than a year of experience.

Honestly as a UA sports fan, we all need ASU to lose every basketball game, so we have something to say to retarded ASU fans who spew ASU football praise with Dennis Erickson's cum still in their mouth.

Nasty Nash in your area

UA hoops season preview, intramural soccer endorsements, more Where's P-Mac will all come in due time... In the mean time this Steve Nash New York Times article is required reading for any Suns fan, basketball fan or fan of incredible people in general.

Also I get way too excited just thinking about having the possibility of 2005 Amaré back.

Found. Part I

“I couldn’t understand it. I was so fucking mad. They traded me and Corie Blount for Vinny Del Negro. I was like, ‘Get the fuck out of here…Vinny Del Negro!?’”

-Paul McPherson

Found. Finally. I saw the YouTube videos, so I knew he was in Europe, but still I hadn't heard a word about Paul McPherson in forever. Someone left an anonymous (Ted Danson?) comment on one of my posts a while ago letting me know Dime Magazine had a spot on P-Mac and I just now was able to comprehend it any put in on my site.

To start I guess I should probably explain why the blog is called "Where's Paul McPherson?" I guess it's kinda weird that I've had the blog up for not quite a year and ever offered an explanation for the name.

I was in 8th grade when I first saw P-Mac play in an exhibition game with the Phoenix Suns against the Lakers. I remember being in awe as this 6'2'' man, built like Brian Dawkins, wearing the magic number 23 was doing insane dunks in the lay-up lines pre-game. I rooted for him the entire game in the limited minutes he saw. I remember telling my brother, "I hope they put McPherson back in." I remember watching him back down Robert Horry before fading away and hitting nothing but net. I'll never forget when he got a break-away dunk and tried to tear the rim off the backboard.

The whole season I was P-Mac's number 1 fan, I'd always check the box score in the paper, looking to see what it said aside McPherson. Unfortunately he spent most of it in coach Scott Skiles' dog house, which didn't help his stats or highlights. That didn't stop P-Mac from making ridiculous plays whenever he was in the game. My friend JT and I still bring up the "God Play" whenever we hang out. The "God Play" went like this: 2 seconds on the clock, someone lobs it down court to P-Mac, he catches it in the air on the right side of the hoop, gracefully floated under the hoop and hit the reverse lay-up as he fell to the ground. It wasn't a game-winner, but if you saw the video and were a P-Mac fan, it was the greatest 2 seconds (6 seconds with slow-mo replay) of your life. I'd estimate that JT and I tried to emulate the "God Play" at least 100 times on a 7-foot hoop, making only a couple.

Then midway through the season they traded P-Mac, along with Corie Blount to Golden State for Vinny Del Negro. Aside from the day my parents got divorced and when the '95 Magic knocked the Bulls out of the play-offs, this was the worst day of my life.

We traded Paul McPherson, who had an NBA tattoo on his bicep and could jump out the gym for some lame white guy that looks like he should be asking you if you need help finding a printer at Staples. What the fuck?!

P-Mac bounced around the league, never really logging a minute and apparently picking up an assault, gun and drug charge in the process.

In my freshman year of high school, during what P-Mac called the "darkest years of my life" in the Dime article, P-Mac joined the ABA's Phoenix Eclipse. This was after the ABA came back for the first time and before it folded for a second time, although now it's strangely back again. It's that kinda league. The Eclipse played in the Suns old arena, Veterans Memorial Coliseum.

JT and I went to the game an hour early in hopes of meeting P-Mac and getting autographs. For $5 we had tickets right behind the Eclipse bench and we met P-Mac pre-game. He was cool as hell as he talked to us both and gave us autographs. I am pretty sure he was just happy to know someone was watching him outside his family and friends.

P-Mac was killing people the whole game, but I will never forget when P-Mac caught an oop, as he jumped from outside the key, hurdled a defender and threw it down with two hands. P-Mac was/is that godly and that is why I'll always love him.

The Eclipse, with the rest of the ABA went down hill quickly and soon they were playing at local high schools. After the Eclipse season, we never heard from P-Mac again.

P-Mac if you're reading this or any of your family or friends are, e-mail me, justinadler1@gmail.com, so we can do an interview. Thanks for inspiring the blog and the eye patch and pirate hat on the banner is just seasonal.

Bums, Bron and Bees

Apparently the bum described in yesterday's post, may only be half-bum as he might have a job according to Tarny, who writes:

While my bum story might not be that good, but I actually sat with that bum for a half my freshman year at a UA game. The very same bum that Brett ran into on the bus. He's actually not a bum, you may see him selling Eegee's at events like baseball games in the future.

I didn't get season tickets my freshman year, so I went down to buy a scalped one, and this guy was selling them cheap, and his seats were really good...to the right of the student section in the corner. I walk into McKale Center, get a pretzel and soda on Monopoly (Cat card) money and walk to my seat. Low and behold, there is this toothless bastard that sold me a ticket, sitting in the seat right next to it.

Generally when I buy scalped tickets, the scalper isn't going to sit next to me at the game, he's going to the straight to da weedhouse. So it seems this gentleman wasn't selling a seat, he was buying a friend because he talked my fucking ear off before the game even started. He had a copy of Lute's book with him, so this may have actually been my sophomore year (Marijuana effects the memory). He was wearing a Channing Frye white #45 with all the signatures on it and was really really excited about this team, needless to say after a few awkward high-fives I weaseled my way down to the student section behind the band. Of course this was before the first 8 rows were reserved for kids from AEPi.

Seriously I know more readers have crazy bum/Wildcat stories, send 'em in justinadler1@gmail.com.

From bums to Bron, here is the new commercial for the Zoom LeBron Vs. Apparently it's only out in China, but only a few more weeks until it's on every commercial break on TNT.


The commercial is nice and all but I need more Business LeBron. "Hold that, hold that thought, I'm a call you back." Nike, you gotta at least match that line.

Now on to the killer bee, Ghostface, who perfomed at UA tonight. It was a pretty solid show, but I'd like to call out the motherfucker who tried to sneak a wine cooler into the concert. This is Ghostface Killah. The man who worked on "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx." The Wally Champ. The man who broke Ma$e's jaw because he thought the "Ready to Die" album cover was biting the "Illmatic" cover. His Wikipedia entry reads, "Ghostface actually devised a way of dying Wallabees different, interesting colors, which were the height of fashion at the time." The man rocked a golden eagle and golden Versace plate. The man who wore a mask over his face when Wu-Tang came out because the feds were after him. This list could go on for 100 more pages.

How are you going to disrespect all of this and try and bring a fucking wine cooler into his concert? And get caught trying to sneak a wine cooler in the show? Come on now.

Also props to Tony Starks for saying "y'all n*ggas got a pretty ill team" in reference to the Diamondbacks.

Brandon,Tucson. Tucson, Brandon.

Tucson has a lot of bums. Tucson has a lot of Wildcats fans. Today I'm gonna let my cousin Brett take it away on what happens when the two intersect.

The following conversation took place while my cousin Brett rode the bus and sat near a homeless man decked out in a UA hat, a blue autographed Cats jersey and Cats basketball shorts. Also according to my cousin the bum had "more eyes than teeth."

Homeless man: So you go to the U of A, are you a big sports fan?
Brett: Yeah
H: Oh man, I'm so excited we got Williams, we've been trying to get here forever.
B: Who is Williams?
H: She's this great volleyball player, it took us forever to get her to sign on. Did you hear about Jameson?
B: No, who's that?
H: Oh he's this 4 star diver from Michigan
B: (Not wanting to look like a douche who knows nothing about sports) Did you see that big basketball recruit practice here last weekend?
H: Oh you mean Brandon Jennings?
B: Yeah.
H: Oh my God! This is his autograph right here! (emphatically points to autograph on his jersey) I was at the practice until they kicked me out. I wasn't able to go to the open practice so I showed up to the next practice. Jennings was cool and he gave me his autograph. When the cops tried to escort me out I told them to ask Jennings if he wanted me to stay. He definitely did...
B: Wait, they kicked you out?
H: Yeah I couldn't make the open practice so I went into a later practice. As the cops were escorting me, I kept yelling for Brandon. He definitely wanted me to stay.
B: Wow, that's a hell of a story.

Welcome to Tucson Brandon. If you like going out in public, you might want to get used to being accosted by one-toothed bums.

If you have any ridiculous Wildcats sports stories, that can match or beat a homeless man bragging about a Brandon Jennings autograph, send them in to justinadler1@gmail.com. You won't get anything, but having "Where's P-Mac contributor" on your résumé will definitely impress any employer.

Catching up

Here's a grip of articles/blogs that are WPM worthy

First, let's hit the D.C. Sports Bog, which completely murks any other major newspapers blog, where Dan Steinberg discuss the possibility of Gil cheating at Halo 3.

OK, let's say you are Gilbert Arenas. You're getting paid just under $25 over the next two years from the Washington Wizards, a powerful team, which you happen to lead. You're getting millions more from EA Sports, Adidas, Spalding and other sponsors. You're working on coming back from a knee injury, which took you and effectively your team out of the playoffs.

So some kids are talking shit about you on Halo 3 message boards. Just let it go, right? Absolutely not.

Gil dedicated 2,300 words to defend himself on his blog.

If you don't got time to read through the length, here's my best of :

At the end of the day I’m still ranked in the top 30 in the world, even without the experience. Go check the leaderboard. That’s all my skill. The leaderboard doesn’t have anything to do with experience points, it just has to do with experience. Microsoft must have sold millions of copies of Halo and I’m still ranked No. 30 in the world. My swag is phenomenal right now, remember that. Like Kanye said, “You can’t tell tell me nothing, riiighhht.” To my favorite haters -- Biggs V2 and Hellhogace -- I’m ranked even without the so-called “cheating.”

And MC187, you get the bonus prize. This is your five days of fame. PTI picked it up and now I'm mentioning you in my blog. This is the only way you're going to get famous because it's not going to be through Halo. I looked at your rank, you aren't very good. You might not be skilled at the game, but I know what your skill is -- looking at everybody else's accounts to see who's cheating. So keep it up baby, I'm rooting for you.

I play Halo some days for 14 hours.

One more thing, a big thanks to Aircalbev for supporting me in this time of tragedy on the Bungie message board of hatred towards Agent Arenas. I also want to give a shout out to some of my fallen solidiers - Cashis Clayis and Baby Jesus - for helping through these turbulent times and I would like to thank God for giving me the man power and the heart and mind to stay up and keep playing Halo to the best of my ability.

Once Nobel and Pulitzer get their shit together and start giving out blog awards, Gil needs the first one. Also "Gazo the Pranksta" sounds like the best cartoon ever created by an NBA player.

On to people who actually won a Nobel Prize, respect to these two guys for helping Steve Jobbs take over the world.

Unless the world ends first.

To go along with my token Gilbert Arenas link, here's my token Oregon link. Until UA hoops can provide incredible sex advice like this, I'll keep rooting for Oregon. Joevan, keep staying fresh.

"Pelted him with textbooks when he broke the silence"

If they sell a Bowie space suit with nipple antennas, I'll cop one.