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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Maybe Mims killed it

2007 is young but Where's P-Mac has an early contender for bullshit rap video of the year. Mims - "This is why I'm hot." It wasn't a smart move on Mims' part because releasing it this early might make me forget about it come the yearly awards. The one syllable rhymes put this song in a lower league than the 2006 sole nomination and winner of the Where's P-Mac bullshit rap video of the year, Rich Boy's "Throw some D's." Actually for all I know this song came out in 2006 and I just somehow missed it. I heard it for the first time on the radio and thought it was just a local rapper trying to be famous in the 520. When I saw it on BET's "106 & Park" today I knew it was destined to shine on Where's P-Mac. Actually after a quick Wikipedia, this song blew up in December 2006, fuck it just the same.

Watch the video, but I wouldn't recomend watching it more than once. It's one of the worst songs ever.

  • Obviously your song is weak if the hook is 80 percent of track. When your song has one bar before returning to the hook it's also never a good start
  • The fake Missy/Rah Digga in the beginning is uncalled for.
  • "I could sell a mil/ saying nothing on the track" This man having the ability to possibly sell a mil could be this weeks sign of the Apocalypse.
  • If I were to make a bullshit rap video I would most definitely call out every region of the nation. Calling out New York and playing "shook ones pt. II" is disgraceful to all of NY is enough. But to shout out the "dirty, dirty," then the Midwest, then the Bay Area and disgracing 40 Water, then LA and shame Dr. Dre, then go back to Chicago and make even Jesus hate you. That's pushing it, he should have just repped the whole Northern Hemisphere.
  • Early candidate for 'supporting actor of the year in a bullshit rap video' goes to "Black" from "call my homie black, meet me on the ave" fame
  • I try not to the back that back-pack rapper, mainly because I can't hate that hard. But it still really pisses me off that rappers are trying to steal Kid Robot.
  • Riding in a Rolls Royce Phantom isn't all that baller any more. You got to at least ride in concept Maybachs like this.
  • Having a dude bounce around a t-shirt with your name on it is never baller.

Bullshit rap video scale:
Rims: 1/5
Bitches: 3.5/5
Grillin the camera: 3/5
Stacks of money: 0/5 (You do have money don't you? How will the audience know with only a glimpe of your stacks?)
Cadillacs: 2/5 (point for Range and Phantom)
Shots of your projects: 3/5
Guns: 0/5 (A little brandishing never hurt a rap video)
Drugs: 0/5
Liquor: 0/5 (Is it that hard to get a 40 out of your local bodega, that the essential bullshit rap video move)
Total Score: 12.5/45 (27.8 %)

Bold move for Mims to not even try to hide an inability to form a two-syllable rhyme behind a ghetto-fab video. Saying "This is why I'm hot" six times in a row to start the song is possibly the worst opening of any song. I can't even think of any song with such an atrocious opening.

Wikipedia had absolutely nothing to spot Mims some points. In fact the Mims in Florida with a population just above 9,000 is the number one Mims according to Wikipedia. Also Mims is apparently an acronym for "Music Is My Savior." Hopefully BIG and 'Pac spare his soul for embarrassing hip-hop.