justin adler, blog, buenos aires, bahia blanca, university of arizona, brooklyn, basketball, travel, paul mcpherson

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Some good ol' muzik

Tum-Tum you are the lucky winner of Where's P-Mac's bullshit rap video of the week award. Tell us a little about yourself.
Taken and unedited from Tum-Tum's MySpace:
"Gd up.one of the realist niggaz out.A 350 nigga tryn 2 put dallas on the map and reps his click 2 the fullest.Tryn 2 tell the worl my point of view and my thoughts u might not like my thoughts but their mine and my opinions and how I feel and I could give a fuck about a rabbit ass rapper gettn mad over my shit."

Gangsta in the sense that he couldn't afford a PR person to make his MySpace so he took his third-grade education and wrote it himself. I'm pretty sure the people over at Ford might be the only ones to disagree with his opinions. Then again I doubt they even know this video exists.

I completely shocked this did not make Chevrolet's Superbowl commercial, which starred the TIP Harris of the hit movie, ATL fame.

Here's Caprice Muzik by Mr. Tum-Tum aka Tumzilla himself:

  • Bench-pressing was cool when Doughboy was drinking 40-ounces on the front porch. It was still gangsta when Denzel played it crooked and rolled through the jungle. Tum Tum took it to another level by having hoes spot him as he benches. Gangsta, but not nearly the Capo Status that is doing push-ups with a ho on your back.
  • If a song dedicated to Caprice Classics wasn't ghetto enough, the dominos secured the utter ghetto-ness of this video.
  • I really hate the director, Mr. Boomtown's decision to shake the video with every drop of the bass. I guess that's why they call him Mr. Boomtown.
  • Props to the little kid on the corner holding a Godzilla doll in one hand and chunking the duece with the other.
  • "Beep. Beep. Who got the keys to the Caprice? Neeeruuuummm" If I was Missy Elliott I would break my Lamborgini-television-bed as soon as I heard that.
  • "One bopper, two bopper, three bopper, four." No comment.
  • Having every stripper and person from your hood come out to support the video and dance around some Chevys. You gotta respect the originality.
Bullshit rap video scale:
Rims: 4.5/5
Bitches: 5/5
Grillin the camera: 4/5
Stacks of money: 0/5 (How you gonna put the D on the map with no scrilla)
Cadillacs: 3/5 (GMC makes the Caddy for a reason, step ya game up Tum-Tum)
Shots of your projects: 2/5
Guns: 0/5 (All the bench-pressing in the world can't stop a hot one)
Drugs: 0/5
Liquor: 0/5 (A little lean coul have helped)
Total Score: 18.5/45 (41.1 %)

Still not cracking a 50%, these bullshit rap videos need more guns, drugs and lean. Simple as that. Is it that hard to get a few prop guns, show a little yay and front with a few bottles. Am I asking too much? Come on now bullshit rappers, we deserve better.
I'm still not sure what is up with the fade-to-mullet thing Tum is rocking and I'm still too confused to further comment on it.

As always for those of you came here for the chopped-n-screwed version, I got ya.